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Vannie Ryanes
BellaOnline's Work & Family Editor

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Children Need Rules and Structure

Rules play an important part in teaching your kids good behavior.

The “Nanny” television show is enormously popular. Perhaps we enjoy watching this program because we relish the fact we are not the only folks to have a problem with our children. The Nanny show has proven time and again, that rules and structure can lead to happier and more secure children. If a child has been allowed to “rule the roost”, he or she may not be aware that every child needs, and even wants limits and boundaries.

Promoting good behavior in children may mean taking a holistic rather than autocratic approach to rule-making. When it comes to ruling over the kids, KISS (keep it solid and simple).

1. Keep the rules clear. Saying "Tommy, you know you should not be watching television at 8 p.m." Does not mean much. Sure little Tommy knows it, because you have said it before, but may have let him continue to watch television. When you say "Tommy, you cannot watch TV after 8 p.m., turn it off now." There is no doubt what you mean.

2. Keep a routine. Have a routine or schedule that includes times for homework, TV, school, playtime, baths, meals, etc. Having and following a schedule may keep arguments and nagging to a minimum.

3. State directions clearly. Say what you mean, "It is time for you to do your homework." Asking "Don’t you have homework to do?" is not a direction, it is a question that begs a shrug.

4. Be prepared to enforce your directions. Don’t give a direction if you are not ready to enforce it. If you allow yourself to flop and back like a fish out of water, your directions won’t mean a thing. Children are smart and they catch on fast that mommy or daddy may say “no”, but if you ask or whine long enough, that “no” will soon change to a begrudging, “Well, alright but…”.

5. Praise your child often. When you see a child doing something right, make sure you praise her or him on the spot. Parents are often quick to yell at their children when they catch them doing something they should not be doing, it seems fair to praise them when you catch them doing something right.

6. Be a good role model for your child. What your child sees you do is much more effective than doing what you say.

7. Remember that rules and structure can mean a more harmonious household. While some of the situations on the television show, “The Nanny” are extreme, they do exist. And more times than not, the children's behavior has been enabled by one or both parents.

Visit PBS's A Place of Our Own If you have a child care provider who is special and loved by your children, submit her or his name to A Place of Our Own to be Child Care Provider of the Week.

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Content copyright © 2009 by Vannie Ryanes. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Vannie Ryanes. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Vannie Ryanes for details.

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