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Kristina de la Cal
BellaOnline's Dating Editor

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How to Flirt

A number of people are just natural flirts who consistently execute flawless flirting behavior without even having to think twice about it. Unfortunately, however, not everyone is a natural flirt, which is why some people have to work a bit harder than usual in order to perfect their flirting routines. If you happen to be one of those people who aren’t exactly comfortable with the concept of flirting, it’s time to start working out those flirtation muscles. Don’t let a nagging sense of insecurity prevent you from achieving your true flirt potential. Take a moment to review the five major components of flirtatious behavior as outlined below and then learn some easy to use strategies that could help you to improve your flirting technique.

The five major components of flirtatious behavior:

1. Eye contact – If used properly, this can be a most effective flirting tool. If not used properly, it can also work heavily against you. If you spot someone you might be interested in, let your eyes do the talking at first.

2. Smiling – There is something undeniably infectious about a genuine smile, almost as though it oozes a sort of positive energy that sets most people at ease. When others are relaxed, they tend to be friendlier and thus more open to flirtatious advances. Whether you are flirting or not, be generous with your smile.

3. Body Language – It’s just as important to read body language properly as it is to speak it. Becoming an expert in body language will definitely help you to improve your dating game.

4. Flattery – Giving and receiving compliments is a big part of flirting but one that requires a certain type of finesse. The general rule of thumb in this department is “if you don’t mean it, then don’t say it.”

5. Charisma – Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to be filthy rich or a model type in order to impress others. As cliché as it may sound, personality holds much more flirtation stock than you might think.

Since men and women tend to flirt in different ways, the strategies will be divided accordingly.

Suggested flirting strategies for men:

1. Keep your expectations low – Flirting is not a fast track into the bedroom.

2. Exude just the right amount of confidence – It’s important to feel good about yourself and to know that you are a great catch but it’s equally important to stay grounded enough so that you don’t give in to arrogance. Believe it or not, there is a happy medium so find it and use it to your advantage.

3. Be sincere – It’s simple really, say what you mean and mean what you say. This is one strategy that would be useful in all areas of life and not only when flirting.

4. Read body language carefully – Understand that there is a difference between friendly behavior and flirtatious behavior. Try not to misinterpret minor flirtations as sexual advances.

5. Be considerate, attentive and respectful– Mind your manners, ask questions and listen well.

Flirting strategies for women:

1. Keep your expectations low – Flirting is not a fast track into happily ever after.

2. Be aware of the signals you’re sending out– Use body language such as a frequent and genuine smile to appear approachable and receptive to new people.

3. Maintain your self-respect – It’s okay to have fun with flirting but don’t demean yourself or allow others to do so.

4. Stay sober – Flirting under the influence is usually not a pretty sight and can lead you to make decisions that you will probably regret in the morning.

5. Have fun – Nothing is more appealing that someone who is having a great time and generating a lot of positive energy. Rather than look for a chance to flirt, start with the intention of having a good time and wait for the right opportunity to present itself.

Flirting at a Glance
Body Language 101
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Content copyright © 2009 by Kristina de la Cal. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Kristina de la Cal. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Kristina de la Cal for details.

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