The Right to Die is definitely a family issue. Terri Schiavo who died March 2005 was the brain-damaged woman who became the focus of the painful right-to-die battle.

My question is, have we learned anything from this ordeal that Terri and her family members went through, and will continue to go through. Terri Schiavo is dead and her family was torn apart almost beyond repair.

The case touched everyone. For me it has opened old wounds that were finally healing. Any death that comes is too soon and hurtful, it never matters that it was expected, when it comes, it is still shockingly unexpected. I would like to think that a documented living will is the answer in matters such as this, but I know that the person who has to make the decision will suffer and always question him or herself. "If I made the right decision, why does it hurt so much?" What if--what if--what if. There have been other cases similar to Terri Schiavo's. Karen Ann Quinlan comes to my mind immediately. Her situation was different, she had no husband and her family was of one mind when they made the decision that no extraordinary means be taken to keep their daughter alive. Karen surprised everyone and lived for about 10 years without artificial means. Nancy Cruzan is another sad situation that comes to mind. Left unconscious after an auto accident in 1983, her family fought to have her feeding tube removed. It took almost 7 years for the Cruzans' to win their case. Nancy Cruzan's feeding tube was removed in December 1990, she died the same month.

My own dear mother had made her wishes known to my family for as long as I can remember. She had Alzheimer's disease for many years; when she had a stroke and slipped into a coma, her physician told us that there was no chance of recovery. However, there was a procedure that "may" have given her a little more time. How much time? Would she regain consciousness? The answer? "I can't say. We never know in a case like this." Although there was nothing written, no advance directive, (It never occurred to us to have one in place. It would not have mattered, she never would have signed it). My mother had made it abundantly clear that she wanted no invasive surgery, no blood transfusions. With this in mind, we let her go peacefully and without challenge. I am sure mom would have been proud that her children followed wishes. My quiet acquiescence would have surprised her, at one time I was very angry about her decision. It turns out that mother did know best. Yes, there have been other cases similar to Terri Schiavo's, we just don't hear of them. They do not make headlines.

Whatever we learned or did not learn, it is abundantly clear that when you are twenty-something, advance directives, living wills and the right-to-die is the last thing on your mind. It is time to rethink that.

Further Reading:

Right To Die
Advance Directives/Living Wills
Schiavo and others
See more on Quinlan and Cruzan in Related Links to your right.

Humor, however bittersweet, in all situations help to keep us balanced. A Look On The (Jaded) Light Side: A Living Will is the Best Revenge by Robert Friedman, Perspective Editor, St. Petersburg Times Online.