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BellaOnline's Jokes & Riddles Editor

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Dog and Cat Characteristics

Guest Author - Victoria Abreo

Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you when they are good and ready.

Dogs look much better at the end of a leash.

Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life.

Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.

Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper. Cats might bring you a dead mouse.

Dogs will play Frisbee with you all afternoon. Cats will take a three-hour nap.

Dogs will sit on the car seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private box or they will not go at all.

Dogs will greet you and lick your face when you come home from work. Cats will be mad that you went to work at all.

Dogs will sit, lie down, and heel on command. Cats will smirk and walk away.

Dogs will tilt their heads and listen whenever you talk. Cats will yawn and close their eyes.

Dogs will give you unconditional love forever. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.



Dog Weather Forecaster

To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog.

If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.

If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.

If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.

Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.



Sincerely,
The Family CAT




How to Bathe a Cat

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have
both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the
bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the
lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).

CAUTION:
Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his
paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.


5. Flush the toilet three of four times. This provides a "power
wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there
are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift
both lids.

8. The now clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run
outside where he will dry himself.

Sincerely,
The Family DOG

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Content copyright © 2014 by Victoria Abreo. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Victoria Abreo. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact BellaOnline Administration for details.

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