• A baby usually wakes up in the wee

• wee hours of the morning.

• A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

• A young child is a noise with dirt on it.

• A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires.

• An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

• Avenge yourself; live long enough to be a problem to your children.

• Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your nursing home.

• Celibacy is not hereditary.

• Familiarity breeds children.

• For adult education, nothing beats children.

• God invented mothers because he couldn't be everywhere at once.

• God invented guilt so mothers could be everywhere at once.

• Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

• Having children will turn you into your parents.

• If a child looks like his father, that's heredity; if he looks like a neighbor, that's environment.

• If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.

• Ill-bred children always display their pest manners.

• Insanity is inherited; you get it from your kids.

• It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.

• It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents.

• Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

• Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

• One child is often not enough, but two children can be far too many.

• You can learn many things from children... like how much patience you have.

• Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.

• The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.

• There are three ways to get things done:

  1. do it yourself

  2. hire someone to do it

  3. forbid your kids to do it

• There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.

• Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.

• The best thing to spend on your children is time.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

Priorities - Child

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