Truths About Parenting

Truths About Parenting


  • A baby usually wakes up in the wee

  • wee hours of the morning.

  • A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

  • A young child is a noise with dirt on it.

  • A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires.

  • An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

  • Avenge yourself; live long enough to be a problem to your children.

  • Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your nursing home.

  • Celibacy is not hereditary.

  • Familiarity breeds children.

  • For adult education, nothing beats children.

  • God invented mothers because he couldn't be everywhere at once.

  • God invented guilt so mothers could be everywhere at once.

  • Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

  • Having children will turn you into your parents.

  • If a child looks like his father, that's heredity; if he looks like a neighbor, that's environment.

  • If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.

  • Ill-bred children always display their pest manners.

  • Insanity is inherited; you get it from your kids.

  • It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.

  • It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents.

  • Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

  • Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

  • One child is often not enough, but two children can be far too many.

  • You can learn many things from children... like how much patience you have.

  • Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.

  • The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.

  • There are three ways to get things done:

    1. do it yourself

    2. hire someone to do it

    3. forbid your kids to do it

  • There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.

  • Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.

  • The best thing to spend on your children is time.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

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