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BellaOnline's Jokes & Riddles Editor

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More Funny Quotes For Your Enjoyment.

Guest Author - Victoria Abreo

1. Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
- Jennifer Unlimited

2. Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Lang

3. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his or her shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
--Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

4. I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
--Jack Handey

5. As long as algebra is taught in school, there will be prayer in school.
--Cokie Roberts

6. I don't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs.
- Nancy Reagan, former First Lady

7.Behind every successful woman...is a substantial amount of coffee.
--Stephanie Piro

8. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
- Robert A. Heinlein

9. I'm cute in gym shorts! I'm slim and trim, and you'd be impressed - I've good calves.
- Larry King

10. You grow up the day you have your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore

11. Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
- Joel, 14, Advice from Kids

12. If you can laugh at it, you can live with it.
- Erma Bombeck

13. If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.
- Katherine Hepburn

14. Scientists are complaining that the new Dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve for another million years. They're afraid the movie will give kids a mistaken impression. What about the fact that the dinosaurs are singing and dancing?
- Jay Leno

15. USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population. - David Letterman

17. A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your step as you walk the tightrope of life
--William Arthur Ward

18. May Your Life Be Like Arithmetic:
Joys Added -
Sorrows Subtracted -
Friends Multiplied -
Love Un-Divided
--Unknown ___________________________________________________________________________
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Content copyright © 2014 by Victoria Abreo. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Victoria Abreo. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact BellaOnline Administration for details.

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