logo
g Text Version
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Career
Computers
Education
Family
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
Money
News & Politics
Relationships
Religion & Spirituality
Sports
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies

dailyclick
Bored? Games!
Nutrition
Postcards
Take a Quiz
Rate My Photo

new
European Travel
Action Movies
Bible Basics
Houseplants
Romance Movies
Creativity
Family Travel


dailyclick
All times in EST

Low Carb: 8:00 PM

Full Schedule
g
g Quotations Site

BellaOnline's Quotations Editor

g

A Letter From Mom

Guest Author - Danielle Hollister


A LETTER FROM MOM

Dear Kids,

Don't be alarmed, the world isn't coming to an end.

I am simply taking a bath. It will take about thirty minutes and will involve soap and water.

Yes, I know how to swim. Even if I didn't, forcing myself to drown in a half-inch of lukewarm water is more work than I've got energy for.

(Which reminds me, I'm all for science projects, but the next time you want to see if Play-Doh floats, use cold water.)

Don't panic if I'm not out right on time.

I've heard that people don't dissolve in water and I'd like to test the theory.

While I'm in the tub, I'd like you to remember a few things.

The large slab of wood between us is called a door. Do not bang to hear my voice.

I promise that even though you can't see me, I am on the other side. I'm not digging an escape tunnel and running for the border, no matter what I said a while ago.

I didn't mean it. Honest.

There will be plenty of time later to tell me about your day. "Later" means at a time when I am no longer naked, wet, and contemplating bubble gum in the blow dryer.

I know you have important things to tell me. Please let one of them be that you have invented a new way to blow bubbles, not a new way to add gum to your hair.

Believe it or not, shouting "TELEPHONE!" through the closed bathroom door will not make the phone stop ringing. Answer it and take a message.

Since Amazing Mind-Reading Mom has the day off, you'll need to write that message down. Use paper and a pencil.

Do not use your brother and the laundry marker. We can't take him to town with telephone number tattoos.

Water makes me wet, not deaf.

I can still tell the difference between the sound of "nothing" and the sound of a child playing the piano with a basketball.

I can also hear you tattling at the top of your lungs. I'm choosing not to answer you.

Don't call your dad at work and tell him I am unconscious in the bathroom.

He didn't appreciate it last time. He won't appreciate it this time. Trust me.

No matter how much I would like it, water does not make me forgetful.

I remember who you are and why you are grounded.

No, you can't go to Shelby's house to play. No, you can't go to Shelby's house to use the bathroom.

If someone is in our other bathroom, you will just have to think dry thoughts and wait.

Unless you have four feet and a tail, do not think of going outside to "water" the lawn. I know the dog does it. The neighbors don't feel the need to call me when the dog does it.

Unless the house catches on fire, stay inside and keep the doors locked.

Do not go outside and throw rocks at the bathroom window to get my attention. I know it works in the movies.

This is reality, the place where people don't like to sit in a tub while rocks and broken glass rain in on them.

Do not set the house on fire. Call me if there is an emergency.

Emergencies are:

  1. Dad has fallen off the roof.

  2. Your brother and/or sister is bleeding.

  3. There's a red fire truck in front of our house.

Emergencies are not:

  1. Dad has fallen asleep.

  2. Someone on TV is bleeding.

  3. There's a red pickup truck in front of our house.

One other thing:

Being forced to use the last roll of toilet paper for a towel does not make me happy. It makes me sticky with little white polka dots.

In the future, when the tub overflows, use a mop to clean up the water instead of every towel in the house.

For my sanity's sake, let's pretend it was the tub, Okay?

No, I don't want to hear the real story. Ever. Especially not while I'm standing in the pool of water you missed.

By the way, all Play-Doh experiments are hereby cancelled.

Be good. Entertain yourselves.

Yes, you can do both at the same time. Try coloring, playing a game, or paying that stack of bills on the coffee table.

I'll be out soon. Maybe.

Love, Mom

~~ Author Unknown ~~

Hot Summer, Cool Shutters... 25% OFF Custom Shutters in as little as 14 Days!

Motherhood
Motherhood Stretched Canvas Print
Buy at AllPosters.com

This site needs an editor - click to learn more!

Add A+Letter+From+Mom to Twitter Add A+Letter+From+Mom to Facebook Add A+Letter+From+Mom to MySpace Add A+Letter+From+Mom to Del.icio.us Digg A+Letter+From+Mom Add A+Letter+From+Mom to Yahoo My Web Add A+Letter+From+Mom to Google Bookmarks Add A+Letter+From+Mom to Stumbleupon Add A+Letter+From+Mom to Reddit




Poems For Mother's Day
Poems About Children
Poetry For Moms
RSS
Related Articles
Editor's Picks Articles
Top Ten Articles
Previous Features
Site Map


For FREE email updates, subscribe to the Quotations Newsletter


Past Issues


print
Printer Friendly
bookmark
Bookmark
tell friend
Tell a Friend
forum
Forum
email
Email Editor


Content copyright © 2014 by Danielle Hollister. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Danielle Hollister. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact BellaOnline Administration for details.

g


g features
To Learn or Not to Learn - That is the Question

Life Offers A Second Chance, Itís Called Tomorrow

The Creative Genius In You

Archives | Site Map

forum
Forum
email
Contact

Past Issues
memberscenter


vote
Poetry
Daily
Weekly
Monthly
Less than Monthly



BellaOnline on Facebook
g


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2014 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


BellaOnline Editor