Guest Author - Kris Bigalk

Kris: Why did you write Ready or Not?
Elizabeth Lyons: When I was pregnant with my daughter, who is 2 years older than my twins, I loved Vicki Iovine's Girlfriends' Guides. When I found out that I was expecting twins, I wanted a book just like that, but none existed. As a writer, I put two and two together and decided to write that sort of book myself.

Kris: What are a couple of things expectant parents can do to prepare for the arrival of newborn twins?
Elizabeth Lyons: One of the most important things parents can do is take a deep breath (or eight). Preparing for the arrival of any number of babies can be overwhelming. There are a lot of requisite supplies to acquire, and going from a couple to a family, or a family to a bigger family, creates change. The prospect of change doesn't necessarily thrill a large segment of the population. There's no perfect way to prepare for twins. There is no magic registry or nursery arrangement or rocking chair that will guarantee that all will go perfectly. And this is a good thing! When parents accept this fact, it typically eases a lot of anxiety. All babies and all families are different. As long as parents promise to keep the lines of communication open and be flexible day-to-day, they are off to a great start.

Kris: What are two "cannot live without" products you would recommend for twins during the first year?
Elizabeth Lyons:Wow - it's hard to limit it to two, honestly, because babies are so different! What might be a cannot-live-without product for one mom may easily be done without by another. I do have a list of twelve must-haves for new parents of multiples on my website at www.elizabethlyons.com/toptwelveresources.com.

Kris: What are two organizing tips for a twin nursery?
Elizabeth Lyons:First, the closet organizers (mentioned in the Top Twelve Resources article) are quite helpful. They ensure that you are aware of just how many clothing items you have in each size. Especially when two babies are sharing a closet, this can be awfully difficult to discern without some sort of system.

Second, if using feeding/diaper logs, have two clipboards (one for each baby). Tie the pens to them or trust me, they'll be lost before you're through the first 24 hours. Have the paper for each baby be a different color from its partner so that it's easier to tell in a darkened room whose log is whose. Different colored pens are too difficult to differentiate at 3:00 a.m.

Kris: What is one skill that you developed after you had twins?
Elizabeth Lyons: I am (if I do say so myself) one of the most efficient, organized multi-taskers around. The only people I've met who can compete with me on this front are my "multiples" sorority sisters. Many of my friends were extremely successful, well-educated business women prior to having twins. We are all now convinced we could run any company more efficiently and with better organization than most of the leading CEOs of the world. If you can negotiate with twin two-year-olds (and win), you can come out on top of any imaginable business deal.

Kris: How did having twins affect your parenting of all of your children?
Elizabeth Lyons: Like many moms, I trusted that I would have enough love to go around, but I worried about whether or not my children would see that love going around. Initially, the juggling act was stressful because I was used to committing 100 percent of my time to one child, and suddenly I had to divide that time between three young children. None of them could have 100 percent of me all day every day. At a point, I realized that I had to do my best in each moment, and that was all I could do. Some days my daughter needed me more than either of the twins, and on those days, I focused more on her. On other days, my attention had to go to one or both of the twins. I did all I could do to ensure that all three knew that I loved them, and then I called it a day!

Kris: What is your husband's best "twin parenting" skill?
Elizabeth Lyons: My husband is very tall (he's 6' 6", which is hysterical given that I'm only 5' 3"; I look more like his child than his wife). He could hold a baby in each arm for the longest time, and he was great at juggling them that way. There were nights when he'd have both babies nuzzled into one arm and his dinner plate on the floor, using his free arm to feed himself. David is very laid back, so many of the issues that I struggled with (or was too tired to deal with rationally) rolled off of his back. He balanced my emotions well. His support and encouragement were my saving grace more than a few times.

Kris: You refer to your "sorority" of twin moms in Ready or Not. What are some ways that new parents of twins can network with other parents? Why is it beneficial?
Elizabeth Lyons: Networking with other parents of twins is extremely beneficial. It helps tremendously to hear that you aren't the only one working through a particular issue. It validates the work you are doing and the feelings you are having. A relationship with another mother of multiples provides a unique and valuable type of support.

There are many opportunities available for expectant and new parents of twins to network with other parents of twins. Many hospitals offer the Marvelous Multiples course (www.marvelousmultiples.com), which is a birthing class for expectant parents of twins. That is where I met every original member of my "sorority." Most cities also have a local twins club (check www.nomotc.org to find one in your area) which provide parents of twins with a community of not only expectant and new parents of multiples, but also parents of older multiples who are full of tips and strategies. My "sorority" is not exclusive by any means. As far as I'm concerned, as mothers of multiples we're all part of the sorority; we're all in this fabulous adventure together. I'm always happy to receive e-mail from expectant/new moms, and I've met some really neat people this way. The Internet is full of twin sites and twin sections of general parenting sites that provide a great way for moms to meet and bond with other moms, even if only virtually.

Kris: If you could give a new mom of twins just one piece of advice, what would it be?
Elizabeth Lyons: Know that no matter what challenge a particular moment might bring, another moment will bring a solution. Moms who are blessed with two children at once receive that blessing because they are the perfect mother for both of those babies and even in the moments when the moms themselves aren't so sure, the universe knows that they can do it. Some moments require more faith than others, but all moments leave you smiling -- either because of the amazing love you have for your children or because a friend says something hilarious in the midst of your explaining to her that you don't know if you're going to make it!

Kris: What are some other books or articles on twins that you have in the works?
Elizabeth Lyons: My toddler book, Ready or Not...There We Go! The REAL Experts' Guide to the Toddler Years with Twins is due out in June. I have a monthly newsletter premiering in April for which anyone can sign up via my website (linked to at right). I also publish a syndicated column monthly which is posted on up to 40 websites as well as on my own website.