Building and maintaining a healthy self-esteem is an integral part of the dating process. Because self-esteem is the relationship that each person has with him/herself, most singles will not likely find success in their dating endeavors until they have learned to love themselves first. There are two distinct types of self-esteem, which include both positive and negative self-esteem. The most effective dating game plans are those that focus on enhancing positive self-esteem so that confidence soars as a result. It is hard to deny that confidence plays a significant role in how people are perceived by others. The more you build your positive self-esteem, the more confident you will become and the more confident you are, the more likely potential suitors are to notice and develop an interest in you. So if you find yourself struggling with poor self-esteem, give yourself an advantage by trying out some of the confidence boosters suggested below.

1. Go easy on yourself – it’s no secret that most people tend to be harder on and less forgiving with themselves than they are with others. Beating yourself up over past failures is a surefire way to destroy your positive self-esteem. Instead, recognize that making mistakes is a necessary part of living and learning and that as long as the lesson is not lost, past failures can help you to make significant progress in dating and in life. Give yourself permission to be human and to make mistakes. There is no need to be perfect but there is a need to love yourself just the way you are.

2. Identify and celebrate your strengths and successes – it is so important to recognize what you are good at and feel proud of the things that you have accomplished rather than waste valuable time and energy by harping on what you may perceive to be flaws. Make a list of your personal strengths and include with it, a running record of each and every success you achieve, regardless of what form it may come in and no matter how big or small it may be. Refer to this list often. Focusing on the positive will inevitably lead to positive results.

3. Exercise – no matter what kind of physical shape you may be in, regular exercise can work wonders for the body and the mind. It is now a well-known fact that in addition to the physical benefits that exercise can have on the body, it also releases endorphins in the brain that help to promote an overall feeling of well being. The dual positive effect that keeps you feeling good and also maintains general health is a strong indicator that making exercise a regular part of your routine has enough benefits to make it well worth your while.

4. Indulge yourself – too often, people tend to neglect the little things that would make a big difference in their development of positive self-esteem. Yes, life does get hectic and it can become extremely difficult to find the time or energy to do something nice for yourself every now and then but failing to do so can have drastic consequences when it comes to positive self-esteem. If you really want to boost your confidence levels, try stepping out of the rat race once in a while and make the time to do something that you genuinely enjoy doing.

5. Surround yourself with positive influences – spend some time in thoughtful observation of your surroundings. Pay attention to what role environmental factors and the people in your life play in the development of your positive or negative self-esteem. While these things are not always within the realm of control, your reaction to them certainly is. If you are unable to eliminate all of the negative influences in your life, then work toward altering your attitude toward that which is beyond your control. If a family member, colleague, or someone you cannot reasonably avoid is constantly putting you down or criticizing you in a manner that is not constructive, resolve to take it with a grain of salt and not allow that person’s negativity to drag you down to his/her level.

6. Be your own positive influence – by avoiding gossip or negativity, using positive language, and thinking positively, you can make a monumental difference within yourself and also in your immediate environment. Attitudes are most certainly contagious so be sure to deliver the kind that is worth spreading around.

7. Let laughter be your medicine – as hokey as it may sound, laughter really is the best medicine. Laughing much and often will greatly enhance your positive self-esteem.

8. Random acts of kindness – doing selfless deeds for others will inevitably help you to feel better about yourself. It doesn’t take much to be kind. Smiling at a total stranger on the street, allowing someone to go ahead of you in line, or paying somebody an unexpected compliment are just a few examples of how to help others while boosting your positive self-esteem in the process.

9. Learn something new – take on a new hobby or sign up for a class on a subject that has always interested you.

10. Set goals – by setting reasonable goals that you are capable of achieving and then designing and following a plan to reach those goals, you can dramatically enhance your positive self-esteem. The best way to improve confidence in this manner is to set realistic goals in small increments so that you have plenty of opportunities to feel good about yourself as you achieve them.