My Journey to Disbelief
Sure I knew about atheists and what it meant, but I didn’t know anyone who didn’t believe (that I knew of). So I kept trying to believe. I went to church less and less as I grew into adulthood. Then my sister started questioning things and reading books about freethinkers. She talked to me about it and we searched the internet for more information.
I know if I had met someone who thought and felt the way I did much earlier in my life, I would have taken my stance as a non-theist much sooner. I have mentioned to some friends and family that I have always been a skeptic, I just now knew that I wasn’t alone. That it was okay to not believe. However, the sentiment is that it is not okay for me to tell others that I don’t share their belief and that I am a skeptic, if not an outright atheist. It is not okay for me to not be able to say how I feel. But I stay quiet for fear of reprisal. I have NOT “come out” of the atheist closet (except for here on Bellaonline). I had a lot of trepidation in even wanting to write for this site under the atheist subject because I had to use my real name. I am still concerned about the negative reactions I may get, but I’ll cross that bridge when and if I come to it.
Of course some friends and immediate family know that I am agnostic and not religious. They are too. However, many others do not know. I have not announced it to my facebook family and friends, many whom I’ve known for a long time and many of whom remember me when I attended church. My true friends will know who I am and should not care, and I am slowly realizing that I can't worry about it and I'm letting others know that it is okay to not believe.
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