Guest Author - Kristina de la Cal
Rejection can sometimes seem like a dirty word that few people like to speak and even fewer like to hear. No one wants to feel unwanted but as unpleasant as it might be, rejection is a very real part of life that everyone must eventually endure in one way or another. Even the most attractive, popular, wealthy and qualified individuals are prone to the inevitable sting of rejection.
The reality is that whether you are turned down for a job or a date, rejection tends to hurt. Even if you arenít even genuinely interested in the person who rejected you, rejection is often a bitter pill to swallow simply because it tends to aim straight for one of the most sensitive spots in the human psyche Ė the almighty ego. As a result, some people may develop an irrational fear of rejection and therefore go to great lengths in order to avoid the possibility of having to face it. Unfortunately, however, this futile practice only serves to cripple the lives of those who indulge in it. Since nobody is immune to rejection, the best solution is not to avoid it but rather to learn how to deal with it in the most effective manner possible.
As human beings, we all harbor an innate desire to be liked and accepted by others. There is a certain comfort and security in the feeling of belonging. Facing the ominous implications of rejection is naturally perceived as a serious threat to that sense of comfort and security on which so many of us have come to depend. Another factor that makes rejection so complicated is the fact that it is almost entirely dependent on the actions (or lack thereof in some cases) of another person.
Luckily, however, there is an element of rejection over which you do have personal control and that is the manner in which you react to the experience. Believe it or not, you are very capable of determining how much you will allow a rejection to hurt you and how influential you will allow that minor defeat to be in your life.
Try to remember that itís not the end of the world if you get turned down for a date or if you flirt with someone and it isnít reciprocated. The truth is that nine times out of ten, it isnít even personal. While this may be a difficult thing for the ego to comprehend, think about times when the shoe might have been on the other foot. Chemistry is not usually negotiable. It is one of those either you have it or you donít kind of things.
Keep in mind that dating is all about trial and error. You might luck out and get it right the first time around but more than likely, youíll have to strike out a few times before you finally get to swing that elusive homerun.