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BellaOnline's Married No Kids Editor

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If You Donít Want Kids, Youíre Not Alone

Guest Author - Previous BellaOnline Editor

Every week I receive several emails from people who have just found Married No Kids and are thrilled to learn that there are others out there who feel the same way they do.

Too often, the child free community is isolated and fragmented, leaving men and women feeling like they are the only ones on the planet who have decided not to have kids. Such feelings of isolation can often lead to depression, a negative self-image, and doubt about your decision.

It can be hard to meet other people who donít want kids in your daily life. But the internet can create a virtual community where you can find strength and support for your decision.

With the writerís permission, I want to share with you an email that I think many of you will appreciate. She expresses the essence of what I want Married No Kids to be Ė a place where we can all feel accepted for our decision and explore what the child free lifestyle means to us, not a place of negativity like so many other child free sites can be.

* * * * * *

Dear Kim,

I am just writing to thank you. I have been looking for some online support for the decision I have made for quite some time with no luck. When I stumbled across your site I just wept! I mean really! All those years of pressure seemed to melt away and lift from my shoulders. Pressure I had only put on myself. I actually felt physical relief in my belly after reading some of your articles.

Finally, a group of women from all walks of life who have the same feelings as I do ...all for different reasons. These feelings had seemed so taboo and of course nobody understands, I have even been "forgotten' by close friends who have had children and couldn't (for whatever reason) manage to keep in touch with those who don't.

What makes me extremely happy about your site is the obvious joy these women are feeling. They are not extreme feminists, man-haters, or angry bitter souls, but rather just women who are in touch with their inner joy and have the courage to express and follow that feeling. Intelligent & successful beings, many being lovers of children but just not wanting their own (as I am).

So I want to thank you once again for creating a space where we can all come to CELEBRATE our choice...I really do see it as a celebration and I am so glad many others do as well. You have alleviated a lot of agony and confusion from a CF woman who now, thanks to your encouragement, can remain that way!

All the best,
KH
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