Guest Author - Deborah Pipas

We have watched our loved one carefully and something is obviously wrong. Either we visually recognize symptoms, or their behavior becomes the key. Often it is just a feeling almost like a sixth sense. We try to tell ourselves we are just imagining a problem or the situation really is not as serious as it seems to appear. Eventually we are no longer able to deny the obvious and must take action.

We discuss it with friends or family members as way of confirmation. At some point we may even attempt talking with the disabled person looking for their reaction or just to let them know that we are aware that there is a health issue.

When the disabled person is aware of their illness or infirmities the process is somewhat easier but when they are unaware oftentimes it falls upon our shoulders to emphasize to them that they are in need of help that we cannot provide.

This may be a long drawn out ordeal sometimes lasting months or years. The disabled individual often goes through a variety of stages beginning with denial along with the family. This is especially so with disabilities such as mental illness. Unfortunately, in many cases the family as a whole is in disagreement. As we stumble through this process there are moments of anger, resentment and hurt feelings among those who must eventually make life changing decisions in order attain the kind of help or treatment that is needed for our loved one.

So many questions arise that bring fear and uncertainty about the future. What will be the outcome? Is there Insurance to provide a cushion for the financial burden? Who will do the research and make the initial contact to set up needed appointments? Where will we begin to seek help? With our busy schedules how will we get our loved one to the necessary treatment centers or appointments? What can we do when they refuse treatment and/or medication?

The strain of all these thoughts and emotions is enormous. This becomes apparent as the cast in the scenario begins to reveal their faces and take their places in this unfortunate chain of events. There is always the face of doubt and disbelief then fear quickly rears its ugly head. Soon followed by the accountant who steps in to state the financial situation and question the means of providing monetarily. Last, but not least arrives the ignorer who mentally turns off the situation and refuses to be involved in any way. These events finally lead to the researcher and problem solver stepping in and so it begins the long road to discovering the illness and the outlook for the future of the disabled person and their family.

As time passes each participant works through the situation in their way until finally everyone is in agreement as much as possible and the real work begins. All of the emotions, disagreements and tears have essentially lead to one unified decision. Obtaining the best quality of life for the disabled person.