Guest Author - Tracy Hamilton
Does the age of the person you are dating matter to you? Some people can be very mature for their age, while others can come across as children in older bodies. So I suppose it is a matter of choice in the end.
Do you like someone who is child like or man/woman like? If you like a fun character, then you are more likely to be attracted to someone who is younger than you. On the other hand, if you prefer someone who is a bit more serious and grounded then you will probably tend towards someone who is older than you.
I know that you cannot categorise everyone in the way I have proposed above, and it is possible to find a balance of both. I have many friends who are older and younger than myself, ranging from mid 30ís to 90ís, and we have never had any problems related to our ages.
The connection I feel towards them is on a deeper level, and has nothing to do with their ages. I have the most fun with my 86 and 90 year old friends. They are so comfortable in themselves that they allow themselves to be silly, and enjoy what is left of their life.
I know that dating is different to the relationships we have with our friends. Depending on what you want from your partner, will determine what you are looking for in them. If security is important you will want different qualities in your mate than someone who is looking for some fun, and someone to hang out with.
Personally, my partners have been younger than me. It didnít happen through a decision it just seems to work out that way. My current partner is 4 years younger than me. Since I have two boys, I wouldnít consider being with someone a lot younger than myself because I would feel like their mum.
Not everyone feels that way of course, and would happily be with a much younger partner. It is not uncommon nowadays to see couples with one of the partners being much older than the other.
There are some social expectations around dating and people can be unsupportive of very young or very old mixes. This can cause lots of problems, especially if others are particularly vocal about their opinions. It can be challenging for some to feel able to be with someone older or younger because of the thoughts of others, so they may not be able to share with them about their new partner.
There are a lot of cliches around dating older and younger people, with the older guys being thought of as having a midlife crisis or lots of money. On the other hand, an older guy with a younger partner is generally frowned upon because it is thought that they are only after sex.
Do you have an acceptable age you prefer or are you open to who comes into your life no matter the age? I know for very young girls it is particularly challenging to accept seeing them with much older men, but we donít know their story and cannot therefore pass judgment.