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BellaOnline's Jokes & Riddles Editor

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Hallmark Cards For Bad Day…If Only

Guest Author - Victoria Abreo

Sorry Cards
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My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire, I noticed your cat. Sorry!

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How could two people as beautiful as you...Have such an ugly baby…

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Friendship cards
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We have been friends for a very long time... What do ya say we call it quits?

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You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

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Birthday cards
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Happy Birthday! You look great for your age... Almost lifelike!

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Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday. So we're having you put to sleep.

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Religious cards
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I must admit, you brought religion into my life... I never believed in Hell till I met you.

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Job cards
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Congratulations on your promotion! Before you go... Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again.

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Relationship cards
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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... that you're not here to ruin it for me.

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Looking back over the years That we've been together, I can't help but wonder...What was I thinking??!!

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I'm so miserable without you. It's almost like you're here.

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I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind.

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Someday I hope to get married... But not to you!

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When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.

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I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend. So here's your leash, water bowl and chew toys.

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Congratulations on your wedding day! (Too bad no one likes your spouse.)

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Content copyright © 2014 by Victoria Abreo. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Victoria Abreo. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact BellaOnline Administration for details.

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