- "A ghost would crawl up my leg and have sex with me at an apartment a long time ago in Texas. I used to think it was my boyfriend, and one day I woke up and it wasn't. I was freaked out about it, but then I was, like, 'Well, you know what? He's never hurt me and he just gave me some amazing sex, so I have no problem."
- "I want to be the new and find my own Clark Gable."
- Her ambitions in 1992, according to her Playmate data sheet
- "I don't have a boyfriend right now. I'm looking for anyone with a job that I don't have to support."
- "It's been seven years since I've had sex."
- "It's very expensive to be me. It's terrible the things I have to do to be me."
- "If I have another child, I doubt I'll get married again. I don't think men particularly want to be with me."
- "I heard that Jessica Simpson is running her mouth again about not wanting to be compared to me. Well I've got news for you, honey - the feeling is mutual. Let's see how you react when the media turns on you - and they will! You'll be lucky if they compare you to Pam Anderson! Oh, and what's this about you supposedly having an IQ of 160? Please! You should take an IQ test on live TV."
- "I do miss sex."
- "I've never really had any friends. And now men don't even ask me out. I can't remember the last time I was asked out on a date, and I'm talking years here ... I spend my life more and more alone."
- "I actually went into a coma, you know. I almost died. And I had to learn how to walk again and all this and that. Horrible, horrible, horrible, because I couldn't walk. I had to rehabilitate myself. And then they took the nurse away, so there I was crawling -- crawling to the bathroom and stuff. You just, like, leave your body. It's, like, unexplainable. It's like -- like one time I went to the park, my friend took me to the park, and I thought I was walking on stilts."
- "I'm just going to have lots of one-night stands from now on!"
Anna Nicole Smith
- "I've heard a rumor that I have two implants in each boob. Now, if anyone could show me how that would work I'd really like to see it myself."
- "I'm hoping to be the next 'Wonder Woman. My agent said this is good training to be a super hero."
- "I can't eat more than six hundred dollars worth of food."
- "I have to go home and masturbate."
- The Anna Nicole Show, after a long day of house shopping.
- "I don't drink as much as I use to could."
- "I like a guy who drives a truck, a gun rack, has good teeth, gives me gifts...goes down on me – you know, the basics."
- "Marrying into money was not a good thing for me."
- "People always ask me, did I ever learn anything when I was a stripper? Yeah, I did. One man plus two beers equals 20 dollars."
- "The make-up artist put too much c**p around my eyes."
- "Trimspa Baby."
- "VH1, you stink! I knew your programme on my most shocking moments would be garbage. How could you let those no-name hacks say such nasty things about me and my husband? They don't know a thing about either of us! And (for your information), I didn't wear my wedding dress to his funeral! I wore white instead of black to remember the good times. That's what he would have wanted."
- "When I raise my hand and get the Oscar or a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, then I'll have made it. I'm reaching for the stars."
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