Guest Author - Jessica Steinmetz

Before I became a mother, I wondered if my baby would be affected negatively due to my lack of physical control. I was wrong because we have an enormous emotional bond.

I would lie awake at night because I was not sure how my baby would react since I could not physically hold her as much as someone without cerebral palsy. My fears were nothing to worry about. Since day one Laura and I have shared a tremendous emotional bond despite the lack of major physical contact.

Bonding With A Baby When Lacking Physical Abilities

1. Eye Contact - From day one I made eye contact with Laura. Newborns can only see very close up so I would get as close as I could to her and look in her eyes. We would spend many times just looking at each other.

2. Face Me - Laura loved her bouncy seat. I was almost in tears the day we had to put it in storage. She was starting to sit up so it became unsafe. However, for the first 5 months of her life the bouncy seat was actually my way of holding my baby. I would have her face me and I'd talk to her, sing to her, read to her, bounce her, and soothe her to sleep. It was a great tool because she could look at me and be close.

3. Songs - I used to sing to Laura when she was in my womb. When Laura was born, I wanted a solution to calming and soothing her without holding or rocking her because I wasn't capable. So I choose a few songs that I repeatedly sang even when she was not crying. I sang the ABC's, Ants Go Marching, Wheels On The Bus, and Twinkle Little Star. To this day if Laura is upset or needs distracting all she needs is me to sing to her.

4. Floor Time - As Laura grows she is spending more time on the floor. I kiss her and rub her back. I read to her and can play with her more easily.

I used to hear some criticizing when Laura cried that I should hold her more. But then they were amazed when she quieted at the sound of my voice. You too can find ways to comfort your child. You just need to use what you have.

Laura does get plenty of physical contact from her father, caregivers, and relatives. Contact is important, but so are other methods.