Guest Author - Elsa Neal

Dialogue is one of the trickiest components of the story due to the balance between authenticity and clarity. In real life, people don’t speak the way we expect them to in stories, but the human ear (and brain) has developed a filter for “um”, “okay”, “well”, “like”, and other filler words that indicate that the brain hasn’t accessed the required words quickly enough. We do notice these fillers used by a companion but we also agree to ignore them most of the time.

When we read these filler words in text, one or two might make sense and make the reader aware that the character is struggling for words. Too many filler words are jarring because each one stops the flow of the speech.

Characters in books are more eloquent speakers than real people, and the reason for this is simple – dialogue carries the story just as much as narrative does. If there’s a big difference between the clarity of the narrative and the clarity of the dialogue, it stands out. Sometimes the writer wants to use this for effect, such as introducing a character with an accent or poorer English skills. The important thing to remember is that an element like this is only effective if it’s used sparingly.

Every segment of dialogue should have a purpose – either to advance the story, to give the reader some information, or to highlight something about the characters speaking. For this reason you would limit mundane, inane conversations, greetings, and polite questions about the character’s health and parents.

Characters meeting and greeting

If greetings are required, they should be put to work, indicating points like characterisation, backstory, and relationships wherever possible. Is there awkwardness between these two characters, are there hidden feelings involved, or do the characters feel totally comfortable together? Don’t be afraid to launch your characters directly into the crux of the conversation, or to begin the scene later to avoid the need to show characters meeting up and greeting each other first.

Dialogue tags

Dialogue tags – he said, she said – are only there to keep the reader from getting the speakers mixed up. They should disappear into the background, and the simplest way to do this is to use “said” for almost all tags, because this is a word readers have learnt to gloss over. Using a different word – “intoned”, “uttered”, “declared” – grabs the reader’s attention for the wrong reason.

Of course, there are exceptions to using “said” as a dialogue tag. “Asked” should be used for all questions, and “replied” can be used for answers. Also, if it is necessary to indicate the way a character is speaking, select an active dialogue tag rather than tacking on an adverb: “She whined” rather than “she said in a whining voice”, or “she cried” rather than “she said loudly and tearfully”. But always be sparing with these.

Talking heads

Consider what your characters are doing while they are talking. Real people are rarely still – they fidget, play with their hair, talk with their hands, nod, cross their arms. Read your dialogue aloud and watch for “talking head” or “tennis match” syndrome, where the dialogue hops to and fro between speakers. Break this up with non-verbal actions and use this opportunity to tell your reader more about your characters. The fact that a character looks down and fiddles with her shoe as she’s saying something will tell your reader far more than a tag like “she said uncertainly”.

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For more help with crafting great dialogue, try Writing Dialogue by Tom Chiarella or
Dialogue : Techniques and Exercises for Crafting Effective Dialogue by Gloria Kempton