Guest Author - Chinedum Ify Obikili
Where I come from, there is a very popular saying that prevention is better than cure. Children donít set out to become addicts or harm themselves just for the fun of it. Something or someone led them to that point. In my opinion, they are also victims, which is why I tend to focus my writing on the need to begin on time where discipline is concerned, to ensure that we do not get to the stage of desperate confusion and agitation. I've also said it before that every addiction most often begin with a bad behavior which became a habit and then an obsession. I have a first cousin who is currently in rehab and who is also not co-operating. Believe me when I tell you it's not an experience you wish on an enemy. Did my coz just up and began to abuse drugs? No, he's had traces of bad behavior which his parents apparently ignored. When parents ignore or consider issues like their kids lying or stealing as trivial, these bad behaviors will grow and become a bigger evil. In any case, if you are a mom, dealing with an addict teenager, you are not alone; here are helpful advices that could help
1. Donít try to wish it away: I understand the temptation to pretend it isnít happening and hope for the problem to go away. The unfortunate truth is that it is happening! In spite of all your great intentions, your teenage kid needs help. A friend told me her son lies so much and she just ignores him most of the time, hoping he'll outgrow it. Like I said to my friend, a child who is not disciplined to stop lying will not understand that lying is bad behavior!
2. Self-blame: I understand your feeling that you may have failed in your duties where this addict teenager is conspired. Most men find it more convenient to blame their wives for the poor turn-out of their kids. However, forever blaming yourself would do little or nothing for you or your child who needs you more than ever.
3. Get him/her the help they need: You may have tried to counsel your kid to the best of your ability. That in itself is perfect and effective, depending on the level of the problem you are dealing with though. If the addiction runs deeper than you can handle, it is best to take them to places you know they can be helped. That will be wisdom.
4. You can do this: This is a very good time to have a positive attitude. I do understand that there are challenges that'll try your faith to the core. But, remaining positive keeps your hope of saving your kid burning. You will find the help you need.
5. Count your blessings: Whatever the situation, once there is life, there is a way!