Guest Author - Chinedum Ify Obikili
The truth is this; you only have from the minute of conception to her 18th birthday to make a major mark in the life of your daughter. You do know that from the moment she turns 18, she is practically an adult, and you donít have as much control over her from that age. However, if we play our roles well by laying a good foundation from the start, it won't matter how old she is, because we would get along so well and even become best of friends after she's married with kids and have a family of her own. I know this because my mom and I are such great friends, I still seek her counsel all the way from my own home. Now, how do you create this kind of long lasting relationship with your daughter?
1 Be her mom first, and then her friend: Being a mother to your daughter and being a friend to her are two different things and should not be mixed up. Taking your role seriously as a good mom means, being firm where necessary and putting your foot down on it. I'm talking discipline here. I do know that in some parts of the world people don't think disobedient kids should be spanked. I may have a different view on that, but I'd respect your right as a mother to administer any form of discipline in your home that you think fit. However, refusing to punish an erring kid, especially a child you repeatedly rebuked, reprimand or correct, would be you laying a foundation of future troubles. Disciplining your kid does not interfere with your role as her friend in anyway. The idea is to raise a responsible kid who'd thank you some day, and who you'd be proud of.
2 Now you can be a friend: You can have a very lovable relationship with your kids and still remain the boss. This will happen nicely only after you have set the boundaries and every family member knows where these boundaries lay. Communicate often with your kids, let them talk about your rules and regulations, let them even make fun at it or you for laying them, that's okay, that is your opportunity to talk about it with them, a good time too to help them know these rules are not there to oppress them in anyway but to help them become responsible children.
Believe me; any kid brought up in this kind of atmosphere would scarcely derail.