Well, what an exciting week it has been. Whiny Stephanie lost the public vote on Friday, and the house is not much different without her. She was a terrible actress and I couldn’t wait for her to stop hamming it up as Mario’s wifey and start being herself, but it quickly became clear that there was nothing interesting about the poor lass unless she was lying through her teeth.

Far more interesting this week has been the twitchy and paranoid Dennis. Last week he thought there were a number of elaborate plots taking place in the house, and that secret tasks within secret tasks informing every aspect of the housemates’ behaviour (of course there are - in your MIND, Dennis love!). This week when he and Jennifer or Rachel or some other mildly attractive but same-faced brunette won a mini-task which involved holding a bit of cardboard aloft with their hands (harder than it sounds, apparently, as three housemates failed in the first few seconds), they were given a mini-picnic. There was booze and cake and all sorts of loveliness for the winning pair to enjoy, until Dennis deduced that there must be a nasty plot afoot. Despite mildly hot brunette pining for the booze, Dennis managed to convince her that anything they ate from the picnic would not appear on the housemates’ shopping list. Complete nonsense, but they abstained nonetheless, and were probably quite disappointed to realise that it was all in vain. They didn’t “save” the shopping list for the housemates and they also failed to win the second part of the actual task, leaving everyone on basic rations. Ha.

The second part of the shopping task this week was one of those doodads you get at fairs, with the loopy wire and the buzzer. Dennis and Thingy had to guide a hook around the loopy wire, but every time they touched the wire, all of the housemates were electrocuted on the bum! Unfortunately Katreya didn’t find this at all “heerarious” and instead went to the Diary Room to make an impassioned plea to Big Brother. Always full of dignity, when BB suggested she take her own outfit off and stop the shocks, she refused, as she would not allow her friends to continue suffering without her. We LOVE Katreya!

Alex has been a big confusing pain this week. One minute she’s an evil bully, the next we’re uncovering traumas buried deep and she’s blubbing out her feelings on material possessions and working for everything you have, then she’s back to stirring up trouble – this time between Mohamed and Rex, who are bosom buddies at this stage in the game. It’s funny how the most mundane things can send Alex spiralling into rage or despair – oven chips cooked incorrectly, a cigarette lighter borrowed by a fellow smoker and a comment about whether raw chicken should be allowed to touch the kitchen counter. She’s a right old nutter. It’s not clear whether she’ll escape nominations this time around, and I’m not sure which way I want it to go. Hopefully she’ll boil over to the point where she’ll kick off violently, punch someone in the face and then get manhandled out by the security guards.

Oh, and I almost forgot (it’s that boring), Jennifer and Dale are embarking on a BB flirtation – one of those ones with lingering glances and whispering and hiding under blankets to snog like vile teenagers. I think Jennifer may be desperately trying to create an identity for herself as the attractive same-faced brunette crew are all so similar that she might get accidentally nominated and evicted for someone else’s crimes. Jen & Dale are certainly no Helen & Paul, they’re not even Saskia & Maxwell. They want some alone time away from the cameras, and I’m happy with them never appearing on my telly again, so that pretty much works for me.

Katreya still for teh win!