Mother's day is a tough time for being infertile. Few days are as apt to bring the desire to remain in bed all day with a box of tissues and the remote control. From the time I was diagnosed at 19 through when I was finally pregnant at 36, I sat through more than my share of difficult Mother's days. Here are some ideas to help you cope if Mother's day is hard for you.

* Consider skipping family events and doing something else that day. For some, attending a family event with seemingly endlessly fertile family members can be really hard. If these events ae really hard for you, consider letting your mom (or mom-in-law) know that even though you love them, it is just too painful for you to participate so you will see them at another time.

* If you do decide to do your own thing on Mother's day, consider whether a good walk, a movie, or some other simple event will give you a chance to put your mind on other things. If you are experiencing severe grief or depression, you may not feel like doing much of anything, but you will feel better if you go somewhere and do something. I often spent hard days at a coffee shop or bookstore with my journal. If this is too personal for you to experience in public, consider doing some journal time at home with a treat such as a favorite movie.

* If you must participate in a family event, try to spend some time alone before hand so you can regroup and work through your feelings. If the family always had brunch on Sunday with mom, plan a quiet journal session the night before so you can work through your feelings before you are facing a lot of people.

* Holidays can also be a good time to paint the bathroom or clear the weeds out of the garden. Activities can help lift your spirit and give you a constructive outlet for our stress.

Whatever you choose, keep in mind that while your arms may be empty today, there is always hope for tomorrow. This year will be my first Mother's day with a child of my own. However, the year before I got pregnant was one of the worst Mother's days I have had as I was just about to divorce and wondering if I would ever have a baby. Life is unpredictable and this may be your last Mother's day without a baby.