I have never been a fan of the comic Archie And Friends, mostly because of the mediocre plot devices and lukewarm humor, but even I had to stop and take notice when the major news outlets decided to announce that Archie would be making a historical decision sixty years in the making. He would finally be choosing between Betty and Veronica, after spending decades flirting, dating, and being the center of plots between the two. Anyone who has ever looked at comic books is familiar with the rivalry between the two, and now it feels like the writers are jumping the shark. Of course, after sixty years of material, fresh or not, it was bound to happen.

Why is this interesting? Maybe for the same reason that we tune into reality television and give soap operas the ratings to keep going year after year after year. Characters that are likable even in the slightest way catch our attention and we feel bad if we begin to ignore them. Thus we continue to know that Archie hasn’t been able to make up his mind for as long as my father has been on the planet, that Veronica is a spoiled rich girl, that Betty is sweet and innocent, and Jughead just likes hamburgers.

So what could possibly be next for our Riverdale hero now that he’s embarking down the aisle with one of the two women he’s been sought after by for years? (And here’s a spoiler, it’s Veronica!) Maybe we’ll listen to his post-college adventures dealing with the girl who is undoubtedly going to be the Bridezilla to end all bridezillas. Or maybe he’ll marry Veronica without a hitch and then realize he really loves Betty, and the two will embark on a stormy affair that leads to a bottle of poisoned Pinot Noir and a body buried behind the house that Veronica’s insurance policy will buy.

Maybe they aren’t jumping the shark with this. Maybe the writers are going to use this as a plot device to make this comic, mostly fluff and humor that isn’t funny once you hit the age of nine, something worth reading. A violent, blood-thirsty slice of real life that includes divorces and people who get fat and have heart attacks from cramming nothing but red meat that has been fried in grease down your gullet for sixty years. Unfortunately, something tells me that it’s going to be Archie struggling to pay for a huge wedding, Betty dating someone just as cute and perky as she is, and Jughead remaining slender and cholesterol free, while the world continues to spin on around Riverdale like a television sitcom.