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Monica J. Foster
BellaOnline's Disabilities Editor

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Raising a Special Needs Child

Children with disabilities bring challenges to their families. Every family is different. It is important families have tools and information to help make good decisions, regardless of a disability. Families adapt to challenges differently. Address areas where families are the same, and strategize a successful parenting experience for both you and your child.

An obvious disability, [particularly physical, may affect a child’s self esteem, family attitudes, and others in the community. Profound, visible disabilities may cause others to excuse inappropriate behavior or lead to a social isolation. Language and speech disorders may affect daily communication and be frustrating. Autism, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) often prompt embarrassment for families. Parents may isolate themselves and the child from the community out of convenience.


Families may find their church, synagogue, or mosque helpful for social support. Still today, houses of worship may not be understanding about a disability. Educate and open dialogues to those ready to listen.

Parents must confront limitations and strengths of all children from preschool to adulthood. Each stage requires different responses from different members. Parents of a child with delayed development are concerned about physical health, safety and readjusting expectations. That doesn't mean you shouldn't strive for the best in your child. At puberty, parents are concerned with differences in physical appearance, grades and social skills.

If a child is not able to indicate an opinion over something like close with sounds, hand signals or facial expressions, dress your child affordably and easily to change into or out of. Looking like other kids is important to a child. Take that into consideration for a child with a disability. It’s about allowing a child to develop as an individual.

Families may spend more money on a child with disabilities. Specialized expenses often result in financial hardship. Even with insurance, there are additional out-of-pocket expenses. Lost work time or interference with career advancement happens. Establish dialogue with a boss, neighbors and extended family so there is support when you need to take time off.

Needs of special needs children often require some effort depending on the level of independence. Going anywhere can be a major undertaking. Teamwork and planning are key. As children get older, daily care may increase stress and outside help is needed. Don’t be afraid to ask for it. If you qualify for program or can afford it, there's no shame in asking for help. Seek counseling from clergy and professionals. Rally your friends and extended family.

Parents of a special needs child may have less leisure time and less time for friends. Often, they feel isolated. Be creative and reach out to other families like yours. Schedules and consistency are important, too. Find specially trained caregivers can be hard and negative attitudes of others may be a barrier, but keep at it. Parents are afraid of their child being rejected, but don't give up. Get the them involved in mainstream, as well as adaptive activities. It certainly broadened my horizons.

Uncertainty about a child’s future self care and independence, is a major concern for all parents. It strengthens the need to strive for the most for a child’s progress. After age 21, a family should contact each agency individually. Agencies such as the Autism Society, UCP Easter Seals, The Arc and Centers for Independent Living are a good start. Find out what other families do. Be active at parent/teacher organizations.

Not every situation is the same, but you are not alone. You have many resources out there. You'll develop a tough skin and filters for the negative people. Be open to possibilities and new things as your child grows. What works for one child may not work for yours. All any child wants is to be loved, accepted and encouraged to succeed

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Content copyright © 2009 by Monica J. Foster. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Monica J. Foster. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Monica J. Foster for details.

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