You won't die
I know this is the most painful experience you have likely experienced to date and you feel like you will die from it. But, you won't. You will overcome this. With just a little time and work you will get through it.
You will get over it
I bet you're sick of people telling you to get over it. I know it's hard to realize it right now but you really will get over this. Look around you at all the people that you know who are divorced and even remarried. They are living proof that you too will get over it.
Put yourself first
Now that divorce is inevitable and is happening start putting yourself and your needs first. Even if you have children there is a point at which you still must put yourself first. To know which is which remember that if you're on a plane and the oxygen masks come down you are to put yours on first, then assist your children. Love yourself first, give yourself time to breath, and then you will be able to care for your children better.
Get a Job or go back to school
If you do not already have a job, now is the time to get one. This is part of putting yourself first. You do not want to be beholden to making any agreements that are not fair based on fear of losing income. You need to be as self sufficient as possible now. If you have been a stay at home parent for some time, go back to school. You will never regret it.
Pain can be a good thing
If you did not suffer pain you would not know when to stop doing something. If banging your head against a brick wall felt good you might keep doing it even if it was killing you. The same with a bad marriage. If you did not suffer pain from the end of your marriage, you would not be more careful next time about who you marry.
You are going to feel lonely
It is natural that you are going to feel lonely when you first separate from your spouse. Morning and grieving is completely normal. This is the death of a love and a relationship, one that likely started off with many dreams. When a dream dies, you feel bad, you feel lonely. The bed feels bigger, the dinner table looks empty, the cap is still on the toothpaste. Any of these things can make you feel lonely. It is normal and natural. Do not allow this natural feeling of loneliness to guide you into a new relationship too soon or worse, make you beg your ex to come back. Get to know yourself again. Feel the loneliness, use it as your guide, and once you are getting over it, then you are ready to move on.
Anger is inevitable
Not only is anger inevitable it is again, completely normal. If someone left you, or cheated on you, this feeling may come sooner. If the marriage was just generally bad you still will feel anger at either your ex or yourself at some point. Whatever you do, do not allow the anger to cause you to do anything out of spite and revenge. Let this anger teach you about what to look for in your next partner. If you use these feelings as guides, you will find a true life partner and never have to experience this again.
Guilt will come
Guilt is one of those emotions that while understandable if you are the one who cheated or did something wrong it is also something that is a wasted and time consuming emotion that can cause you to lose ground on your recovery. In the future try not to do things that make you feel guilty or determine that guilt, like regret, has no real place in your life. Let it go.
Acceptance
Eventually you will come to a place of acceptance. You will accept that your marriage is over and you will start to believe that it was for the best.
Recovery will come
Once you go through these feelings and emotions you will come to a place of recovery. You will be a lot stronger, wiser, and emotionally ready to find a true life partner now. This road to recovery does not happen all at once, or over night. It will take time, and work. You must do some self discovery either through self help books, workshops, counseling or life coaching. No matter how you do it, do the work and you will over come your divorce.
