I was taught from an early age to speak up for myself, to be independent and make choices. For a child with a disability, self advocacy is a lifelong process beginning by watching parents. Self advocacy means taking responsibility for communicating about your needs and wants.

I first learned self advocacy at Individualized Education Program (IEP) meetings. My mother brought me to meetings from the time I was in second grade. Bringing your child to IEP meetings helps them to learn and practice life skills. Advantages your child may gain at meetings include:

• learning about their disability
• practicing goal setting
• building teamwork skills
• developing their voice
• solving problems
• understanding strengths and needs
• learning to ask for and accept help

Young children can contribute to IEP meetings. My mother packed coloring books and homework to busy me at meetings.

If your child is too young or has behavioral issues, you may choose to include your child during a part that the child has interest in. This helps familiarize them with IEP team members and get comfortable in meetings. It also ensures everyone at the meeting keeps your child as the focus. If your child cannot attend the IEP meeting, bring a photo.

Get your child’s input before coming. My mother sometimes read my IEP to me, particularly when it had to do with physical therapy, recess or where I sat in class. There were activities I participated in during gym class. Times I didn't participate, I preferred my physical therapy scheduled in the same area as gym so I was with my class at least.

I liked sitting with my class at lunch. I mentioned it in the meeting. Another student began coming to lunch with me and help me get my lunch. It gave me a better chance to socialize and teach students the benefits of helping others.

Ask the meeting team one positive trait or skill your child has at the beginning of meetings. Include your child and ask how they feel things are going. Afterward, explain goals and services or answer questions from your child.

As your child grows, participation in IEP meetings can increase. It's important to discuss meetings prior so your child can make the time-sensitive meeting more positive. Role-play being in a meeting with your child to practice.

Ways to include your child are:

• Write down ideas and questions before the IEP meeting
• Rehearse what they want to say
• Write down what they want to accomplish
• Introduce your child
• Talk about your child's interests and desires for the year
• Explain their disability to the team
• Lead all or part of the IEP meeting
• Help the team develop IEP goal areas
• Ask questions if he or she doesn’t understand something
• Review things at the end of the meeting

Some questions you may want to discuss with your child before the meeting are:

• What do you want to work at school?
• What are your concerns this year?
• How do you learn best?
• What do you need to succeed?
• What makes learning easier or more fun?
• What should your teacher and staff know about you?

Discuss how to handle if something negative or difficult to hear is said about your child in the meeting. Decide what point, if any, you would stop the meeting and have your child leave. Have an activity ready for them to busy themselves with, such as activity books, , homework, etc.

The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), a federal law for students with disabilitiesrequiring your child be invited to the IEP meetings anytime transition services are to discussed. It's planning for your child’s future, taking a look at his or her skills in five areas: employment, college, independence, community involvement and recreation.

My decision skills sharpened as a result. I learned to present myself well with adults. I learned to speak better and make school better. Teaching children self advocacy benefits them as they become more independent.