Most of us know that a Bar or Bat Mitzvah ceremony symbolizes the passage of a Jewish child into adulthood. But, do we know what the entrance into adulthood means or, furthermore, what Judaism asks of us once we are adults?

For many of us, the Bar or Bat Mitzvah meant the end of our Jewish studies. We had reached the level of accomplishment that allowed us to relinquish any further educational achievements or Jewish connections. For others, the Bar or Bat Mitzvah led to confirmation, Jewish youth groups, and other Jewish experiences throughout young-adult life. And, for still others, the Bar or Bat Mitzvah was a true symbol of our evolving role in Jewish life – not only what we had achieved but what we were to attain in the future.

At his or her Bar or Bat Mitzvah, a child comes into new responsibilities within the community. From that point on, the child is counted in the minyan, quorom of ten (in Torah-observant synagogues, the boys would be counted). The Bar or Bat Mitzvah can be called up for an Aliyah, and boys are now obligated to wear a Tallit and/or Tefillin. Fasting on fast days throughout the years is also required from this point on.

Yet, it is not merely the acceptance of new mitzvot that defines the Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Additional changes take place that, perhaps, we are unable to put our finger on but are still just as powerful and important. These are the changes that are essential to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration. I, personally, am concerned with the modern interpretation of this holy event.

The party afterwards has become the focus of this occasion rather than the moment the child is called to the Torah for the first time. The opportunity for in-depth study of a particular piece of our faith is frequently replaced with a child struggling to memorize the songs they will be required to sing in front of their synagogue members, their family and their friends. The task is not taken seriously or is taken without much meaning attached to it. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah is more than this sole event. It continues on for our entire lifetime.

Bar or Bat Mitzvah means “to whom the commandments apply”. As the child steps up into adulthood, he or she is also stepping up to the responsibility of the commandments, the mitzvot that G-d has given us. We expect, from this moment on, that our children will view the world with a larger lens and that they will be able to contemplate and comprehend the part of the world that exists beyond them.

It is our obligation to create the kind of Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebration that gifts our children with a message for their Jewish future. What we choose to make important – the decorations, the entertainment, or the words of D’var Torah our child shares – is what becomes important in the eyes of our children. It is an opportunity for each Jewish parent to seize. It is a chance to show our children how essential our tradition and our active faith is in our futures. We can be so proud as they stand before their community sharing the laws of living they have extracted from their Torah portion, and we can be even prouder when they continue to live and grow within Jewish constructs from that point forward.