Guest Author - Caroline Henrich
Divorce can cause even the strongest individuals to question their self worth and cause insecurity. This can occur for a number of reasons including societal expectations, family, religious views and a person's dreams of living happily ever after.
People, especially women, can view divorce as rejection and failure. This is often the case even if the woman wanted the divorce. This is understandable and natural. It is important to acknowledge every emotion that you are feeling; this includes the negative ones.
After you have acknowledged these feelings, it is time to question, challenge and overcome them. This is not always easy. First it is necessary to look in the mirror, physically and emotionally.
Please look at that reflection and acknowledge the unique and special person. The person in the mirror has many gifts including intelligence, life experience, compassion and many others special qualities.
Women often focus on the negative. We want and expect to be perfect. Aceept that none of us are. This includes movie stars, wealthy people and all those women in the magazines.
Everytime you start to let negative feelings overwhelm you, say "stop". If you feel hurt that your spouse asked for a divorce, and you hear a voice in your head telling you that you are not lovable, say "stop". Everytime your ex-spouse criticizes you, don't internalize it, say "stop"
Perhaps your ex-spouse does not love you in a romantic way anymore - remember that he is one person in this world. Yes, he was important, but there are so many people in this world that see and embrace all of your positive attributes. Focus on them.
Walk with your head held high, put on your favorite outfit, fix your hair the way you like it. Focus on positive activities. Take a walk in the park, smile at people and say "hello". People are drawn to positive people.
Remember you are beautiful, special, intelligent and a one of a kind individual. Staying positive will often require you to seek the support of friends or even professional counselors. That is fine, please seek support whenever you need it.
Finally look into that mirror everyday, smile at the reflection and see the unique wonderful person that is looking back at you.