Though it should not serve as the be all and end all of any relationship, developing physical intimacy with a new romantic partner is a very important part of dating that often requires a certain degree of finesse in order to mature properly. It should go without saying then that there is much more to cultivating physical intimacy than sexual activity alone. As a matter of fact, sexual activity should ideally be the last step in the process of developing physical intimacy. The temptation to move quickly through the process or maybe even skip a few steps along the way is usually what leads new couples into the bedroom well before they have had a chance to emotionally prepare for the consequences.
The reality is that regardless of what kind of expectations may or may not exist between two people, sex can and very often does have a way of changing things. Many singles engage in what they believe to be “casual sex”. In my opinion, however, there is nothing particularly casual about sexual activity. No matter how hard one may try to maintain a no-strings-attached policy in the bedroom, emotions, whether their own or those of their partner, are not easily controlled. Sex, by its very nature, is an extremely intimate activity that when shared between two people, alters the dynamics of the bond between them. Whether the change is a positive or a negative one depends largely on how comfortable both parties were with each other before taking things to a sexual level.
In an effort to produce a mutual sense of comfort, new couples would be well advised to communicate openly with each other about their feelings and make sure that they are on the same page with regard to the pace at which they will develop physical intimacy. Neither party should ever have to feel pressured to engage in any type of sexual activity with which they are not comfortable. By taking it slowly and allowing physical intimacy to develop naturally, new couples can improve their chances of establishing a bond that will stand the test of time.
Though there is no particular sequence that is set in stone, the following suggestions for developing physical intimacy with a new partner are intended to serve as a general guideline for those that are interested in getting physical without taking it too far too soon:
- Eye contact - Physical intimacy can develop on some levels even without physical contact. Locking eyes with your sweetheart will help to get the intimacy ball rolling.
- Conversations - Engaging in meaningful conversations with your sweetie can also help to strengthen the bond that leads to physical intimacy.
- Non-sexual contact - Spend ample time getting physically close to a new partner in a non-threatening manner by holding hands often, hugging, caressing, and using body language to supplement verbal communication of feelings.
- Kissing - Mouth to mouth contact is an effective way of developing physical intimacy so long as it is mutually desired and enjoyable.
- Sexual activity - Once both partners are comfortable enough to take it to the next level, engaging in sexual activity can greatly enhance the physical bonds established between new couples.