Guest Author - Caroline Henrich
There are many emotions that humans feel. Certainly one of them is fear. Another one is loneliness. Humans are social animals. There are many kinds of relationships that allow us to be close to people. There are parent child relationships, sibling relationships and friendships. All of these are important. Many people however feel the marital relationship is one of the most intimate and important of all relationships.
People who feel this way truly believe in the intimacy of marriage. They believe that their spouse is their best friend, lover and confidante. If this relationship ends, they often feel like they have been abandoned. Fear is one of the most gripping emotion after a separation and during a divorce. This, coupled with loneliness can seem overwhelming.
If you are feeling these emotions, first acknowledge them. It is okay to feel fear and loneliness. The concern is whether it continues unabated and you do not seek help from professionals and friends to help you overcome it.
Being without a significant other does not mean you are alone or that you will remain this way. You most certainly have friends and family who can lend support. If you do not, seek support groups and meet people who are experiencing the same emotions as you. You may also have children who need you to remain strong.
You are alone now, but that does not mean you will always be alone. When you are ready and have healed, you may be ready to meet other people. If this seems impossible, talk to yourself and realize that time will heal the pain and you are being unrealistic to think you will be alone forever.
Furthermore, there is nothing wrong with being alone. There are many things you can do to enjoy life on your own. Enjoy a good book, a solitary dinner, watch a movie that even your children or friends do not enjoy. Finally, it all else fails enjoy a bubble bath. Spending time with friends is also important.
If you cannot overcome the fear and loneliness on your own, please seek help from a professional. This does not signal weakness, it signals that you know when you need someone with professional skills to help you through a difficult time.