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When The Words Come Out Wrong
"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment." ~ Lady Dorothy Nevill
I can admit it. Some times words come out of my mouth faster than my mind comprehends them. It may not be until hours or days later that I pick up on a visual cue that tips me off that I have offended someone.
There are two directions you can take once you realize you have put your foot in your mouth, been rude, or inadvertently insulted someone. You can do the easy thing and ignore it; pretending it never happened. The one thing that doesn't really affect the comfort zone but may leave that pitted feeling.
Or, my personal favorite, you can call yourself out and apologize to the person. "Remember, yesterday when I said... (blah, blah, blah) well, I really want to apologize for being insensitive." Calling yourself out like this is a little more difficult but is guaranteed to make you feel better when it is done and likely to encourage further discussion and ultimately erase the bruise you inadvertently caused.
I think if more people did this there would be less hidden hurt feelings going around. You know, that stuff that builds up in the background until finally the relationship becomes distant or even worse, severed. How many times have you been asked if you are pregnant? Or when someone's died gotten the proverbial "well, they're in a better place now". Ugh. I've even done that one. Talk about opening mouth and inserting foot.
Calling yourself out takes the onus off them and puts it back on you, where it should be. Hopefully in the end everyone grows.
Your goal for tomorrow is to prevent foot-in-mouth-disease and if it so happens that you slip, call yourself on it as soon as possible. And here's the bonus, you get to call out someone else on it too; because believe it or not, some people do not realize they are being insensitive and need some lite schooling but be gentle.
Good luck and take care of yourselves!
Content copyright © 2013 by M. E. Wood. All rights reserved.
This content was written by M. E. Wood. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact M. E. Wood for details.
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