This time of year is for card sending, phone calls and reconnecting. What to do if grief is present?
Please don’t ignore the grieving person. They already feel so isolated. They won’t contact you because they don’t want to rain on your parade. So the ball is in your court. Of COURSE you’re not sure what to say. This is hard. This is so, so important.
On the internet, type into your search engine <
You’ll also find links to regular card companies. Explore some or skip these. The brief description will tell you if grief items are available. At the bottom of the page listing the sites, you find a row of numbers, getting you to other pages on the list. Go at least three pages in, and you’ll find as much help as you need to make someone’s holiday a little less miserable.
This is the greatest gift you might give all year. Bless you for reaching out.
Cards are also available to notify friends and family of a loss, and a mention that holiday involvement this year may be limited.
It’s out there. Reach, connect, be part of Shalom.
Wounded Holidays
by Alan Harris
Young, they left our homes
in a moment, long or quick,
they were gone.
Dewdrops turned into teardrops,
the shining sea too small
to hold our grief.
"Give us our children back," we pled
as we noticed their plateless places
at the table.
Regret made a river through our days,
tempering laughter,
pervading sudden silences.
Bodies they had through us, with us
bodies housing minds and souls
no longer.
The holiday season's return
makes throb now the wounds
we felt at their parting,
wounds which may heal
in time, we hope,
into strength
but not yet, in this season
of snowflakes that sting and cookies
that somehow taste of vinegar.
"If only," goes our carol.
If only they could return to us
but no.
If only
we could speak with them
but no.
If only we could love them
so intensely that they could
feel our presence right now
but yes, yes to this one,
a thousand yesses--
they can.
How can they not feel our love,
being core in core with us,
heart in heart?
We give love this season to them and
to each other as plundered parents
and wounded healers.
With love flowing, something in our lives
a magnificent, mysterious Something
guides us like a star.
The Year Before Last
by Unknown
The holiday season is approaching,
and with it comes the New Year.
Although for me time passes slowly,
New Year's Day will ring in quickly.
I dread this New Year's Day
because they will look at me
in a terribly strange way
when I get misty-eyed,
and talk about something you had done.
After you first left me,
they reasoned when I cried,
"He's only been gone a few months."
And I would catch that look of
understanding in their eyes,
and found some comfort that they knew.
But on last New Year's Day,
my first thought upon awakening was,
Oh God, my son died last year,
not just a few months ago, not even this year,
but last year.
He will never live in this year.
They didn't understand, they didn't reason,
that last year, for me, the loss was still new.
They thought, "It happened last year,
so long ago, why does she still cry?"
I could see it in their eyes.
This New Year's Day, will it be different?
Will my first thought upon awakening be,
Oh God, my son died the year before last,
not a few months ago, not this year or even last year,
but the year before last?
He will never live in this year.
Will they even listen, should I not look them
in the eyes, for fear that I shall see,
"Why is she still crying? It happened so long ago.
It was the year before last."
Those words that we use
to describe the passage of time,
a few months, this year,
last year, the year before last.
They don't know that time stands still for me.
Will they understand that's why I cry?
Don't they know
my son just died ...
the year before last?
My First Christmas in Heaven
by Unknown
I've had my first Christmas in Heaven,
A glorious, wonderful day!
I stood with the saints of the ages,
Who found Christ, the truth and the Way.
I sang with the Heavenly choir:
Just think! I who loved to sing!
And, Oh! What celestial music
We brought to our Savior and King!
We sang the glad songs of redemption,
How Jesus to Bethlehem came,
And how they had called His name Jesus,
That all might be saved through His name.
We sang once with the angels,
The song that they spoke that blest morn
When shepherds first heard the glad story
That Jesus, the Savior, was born
O dear ones, I wish you had been here.
No Christmas on earth could compare
With all the rapture and glory
We witnessed in Heaven so fair.
You know how I always loved Christmas;
It seemed such a wonderful day,
With all of my loved ones around me,
The children so happy and gay.
Yes, now I can see why I loved it.
And Oh, what a joy it will be
When you and my loved ones are with me,
To share in the glories I see.
So, dear ones on earth, here’s my greeting,
Look up till the day dawn appears,
And Oh, what a Christmas awaits us
Beyond our parting tears.
