Guest Author - Tracy Hamilton
It can be easy at the beginning stages of a relationship to overlook the other persons behaviours and character traits because we are trying to fit in with the person in front of us; especially if we feel attracted to them.
When you stop and think about it though, how well does overlooking character traits serve you or the potential relationship? If you are not able to be yourself with someone then a potential relationship with them can become challenging.
When both people are able to be themselves with each other, and not feel judged or ‘wrong’ for being themselves, then there is a foundation to build on. No-one wants to be walking on egg shells or trying to be something they are not to please another.
Being confident and comfortable in each others company is a gift, but it can also be a rarity, so when it comes along it should not be taken for-granted.
The importance of feeling safe and loved for who you are rather than who you think you should be, should not be overlooked. Without that security, drama’s and challenges can become the norm for your relationship. When you feel safe with your partner, the relationship has space to grow.
Feeling secure with your partner does not bring drama, jealousy, fear or other challenges that may trigger any deep seated emotional turmoil relating to being with someone. It brings trust, love and a deeper bond.
If you are unsure about the person you are dating, or have some feelings that you cannot understand, maybe ask yourself:
Do I feel good with this person?
Are they supportive of me and where I want to be in my life?
Do I feel comfortable and able to be myself with him/her?
Am I obsessed, addicted or insecure with them?
Do I feel nurtured?
Am I giving more than them, or is it equal?
Why do I want to be with this person?
You may be surprised by your answers to the above questions, and what they reveal. If nothing else you should discover whether you have a chance of a good relationship with the person you are dating, or if it is time to move on.
Sometimes we know in our hearts whether someone is right for us or not, and often we ignore those thoughts and feelings and continue in our pursuit. Do you ever question what the driver is of that behaviour? Are you scared to be alone, and therefore settle for whoever comes along? Or is it important for you to find the ‘right’ person for you?