How To Let Go As They Grow
Your first years of living and raising your daughter play an important role in her growing stages as well as her adult life! Looking back, many parents wonder if they tried to force their daughter into a particular role. Others look for clues as to what habits and actions early in life led her to being the adolescent she is today. In reality her growing up happens slowly, but for many parents, the idea of their little girl growing up hits fast and hard. Her body may begin to stretch out and get a litter leaner or her attitude may shift suddenly from time to time. These types of changes will cause internal and external stress to your daughter, and will challenge you to adapt your parenting skills.
The emotional changes that growing girls go through, are caused by hormonal instability, peer pressure, and just plain figuring out who she is in relation to you the parent, and her friends. The world can be the roller-coaster ride of a lifetime. The challenge for most parent’s is knowing why it’s happening, what to expect, and most of all, how to react.
I am sure you can remember the first time you saw the emotional change in your daughter. It probably looked like an outburst or mini-breakdown about something that seems unimportant. Others will see it sneaking up on them: their sunny, always cooperative daughter is suddenly sullen and argumentative many times. Either way, their emotional changes during adolescence can be as scary and confusing to the parent as they can be to the daughter.
You as the parent can help by encouraging her to make sense of the world around her. A part of a girl’s frustrations are that her parent’s won’t allow her to grow! You can also help her by having patience as your daughter begins to have an endless array of questions about each and everything around her. You can also pose a question to your daughter to help her use her thinking and problem solving skills. This helps with the experience of a dilemma. By allowing her to come up with original solutions to problems, you can help encourage both intellectual development and self-confidence.
You can further help your daughter by encouraging her to think in terms of alternative options and possibilities rather than depending on one option for satisfaction. The more you help your daughter realize that there are many options in every situation, the more you increase her potential for self-soothing.
Ultimately you must realize from the start is that the ultimate goal of parenting is to raise a responsible, self-sufficient daughter. If she doesn’t need you as much when she becomes a teenager, then you have accomplished your goal. In turn you have equipped her with the tools to succeed on her own. Sit back, enjoy and congratulate yourself on a job well done. Support and guidance will ensure her self-sufficiency. Don’t blink they grow up fast!
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