It’s important to provide time for your daughter to get used to the idea of remarriage. It’s also important that you let her know that it’s natural to want both parents to get back together again but that it’s not possible. At that time your daughter will realize that the step-parent is not going away. Take a look at some healthy ways of getting your ex and new step-parent working together.
This is the time for healing, bonding and new traditions to be introduced. Reassure your daughter that the step-parent is not a replacement for the absent parent. And that a step-parent should be considered an additional support or reinforcement for both parents.
The familiar parent should introduce in front of the daughter that requests from the step-parent should be carried out as if it were coming from the familiar parent. The requests from step-parent should not be forceful but more of an encouragement. Relationships take time. Confused and angry takes time to get over.
This is the perfect opportunity for the daughter and step-parent to bond. At this time the step-parent should have alone time with daughter doing something that requires assistance. It is important that you not try to be her best pal or best buddy – it will come. But to inform her that open discussion can begin. And that whatever she wanted to know she can ask just so long as it’s not to personal. Inform the daughter that respect is important in your new relationship with her. And that her feelings matter. When she fills confused or angry about something, she can talk and work through it. Listen to her concerns and objections, this will give you a clue to how long it will take for your daughter to get used to the new relationship. Love and support as well as appreciation will make this new union a continued work in progress and then a success.
Perfect time to start something new! Think of something interesting but challenging – fun but strategic. Make it a once a week deal! This will help speed the idea of the new relationship up. Creating a healthy environment after remarriage is important. Having the familiar parent talk to the ex about the new arrangements are important. Inform the ex that the major parenting will remain between the two of you original parents. This is also the perfect time to let your ex know that communication through email or text is welcomed. Getting your ex on board is the key. The sooner you convince your ex that the step-parent is not a replacement – the sooner your daughter will accept the idea of remarriage.
Relationships between your ex does not have to be perfect but it does have to be a workable. It is not about you it is about what you have together and her happiness.
Fortunately children have an amazing way of healing. As your daughter grows the experiences and support will allow her to lead a healthy life. Divorce, breakups and remarrying is not about you – it’s about your daughter and her quality of life. You owe that to her for bringing her into this world.
Live, Laugh and Love
“Making a difference in the world one person at a time”
Editor's Picks Articles
Top Ten Articles
Content copyright © 2018 by Tuculia Washington. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Tuculia Washington. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Tuculia Washington for details.