My sister, Dana, was tending her adorable 4 year old grandson, Madden, and they were waiting for the pool man to come. Madden was sitting on the side of the pool swishing his feet in the water. He said, “Grandma, there’s a caterpillar in the pool.” Dana said, “oh,” thinking the pool man would remove any bugs. Then Madden said, “grandma, why is the caterpillar doing this?” (Madden opened his mouth wide and stuck his tongue in and out.) That made Dana take notice, and she hurried to the pool, and there by Madden’s feet was a rattlesnake. She grabbed Madden from the pool and just then the pool man arrived. He scooped up the snake (3 1/2 feet long – a very giant caterpillar!) in his skimmer, and took it out to the road while my nephew ran for a shovel. Just then a car drove by and ran over the snake; a funny story that could have had catastrophic consequences. This got me thinking that I didn’t have a good snake to serve at my annual Halloween BOO-ffet. The following Repulsive Ruthless Rattlesnake is actually a delicious giant coffeecake that can be served at your BOO-ffet or at a Halloween brunch.

I have included step-by-step instructions for this scary (and luscious) snake. It can be made a month or so ahead and frozen, and can also be used as a scary centerpiece. It’s easy to decorate, and also fun. I looked up rattlesnakes and found photographs of several. Mine doesn’t look real, but it still looks like a snake. You can use your imagination and decorate your rattlesnake any way you like.

24 Servings

Dough:
1 cup water
1/4 cup powdered milk
3 eggs
1 teaspoon salt
3 1/2-4 cups flour
1/4 cup softened butter
1/3 cup sugar
1 tablespoon yeast

Filling:
1 8 oz. package softened cream cheese
1/3 cup sugar

1/2 cup raspberry jam, or strawberry or other red jam

2 tablespoons melted butter

Glaze:
3 cups powdered sugar
1/4 cup melted butter
2 to 3 tablespoons milk

black sanding sugar
yellow sanding sugar
Red Sanding Sugar
1 red fruit roll-up, for tongue
2 candy eyeballs, (mine are Wilton brand), or raisins or craisins

1. Dough: Place the dough ingredients in the pan of an automatic bread machine in the order given. Turn the machine to the dough cycle and start. After 5 minutes of mixing, check to make sure the dough forms a soft ball. If it is too soft, add a little more flour; if it is stiff, add a little more water.
2. While the dough is mixing, make the filling: mix the cream cheese and sugar until smooth.
   
   
   
3. When the dough cycle has finished, roll it out on a floured surface to a 12" x 18" rectangle. Spread evenly with the cream cheese mixture.
   
   
   
   
4. Dollop the jam over the cream cheese, and spread.
   
   
   
   
   
5. Roll up tightly and pinch the seam to seal. Pinch the ends to avoid leaking.
6. With your hands roll or stretch the roll to as thin and long as possible.
   
   
   
   
   
7. Place on a parchment-lined baking sheet and form into a snake. Pinch the neck to make the head appear bigger and roll the tail to make it as thin as possible (this will be the rattles).
   
   
   
   
   
8. Let the snake rise until doubled in bulk.
9. Brush with butter and bake about 30 minutes or until golden brown. Remove from the oven and cool thoroughly.
10. Glaze Mix the glaze ingredients and add enough milk to make a thin spreading consistence (not drippy). Spread a thin layer over the snake.
11. Use black sanding sugar on the tail portion to make rings with a space in between each.
12. Use a toothpick to make diamonds or swirls over the body; fill them in with the black, yellow and orange sanding sugar to look like the body of a rattlesnake.
13. Cut a forked tongue out of the fruit roll-up about 3-4 inches long. Slice the mouth an inch or two so it opens and place the tongue inside.

Amount Per Serving
Calories 265 Calories from Fat 81 Percent Total Calories From: Fat 31% Protein 6% Carb. 63%

Nutrient Amount per
Total Fat 9 g
Saturated Fat 5 g
Cholesterol 50 mg
Sodium 193 mg
Total Carbohydrate 42 g
Dietary Fiber 0 g
Sugars 7 g
Protein 4 g

Vitamin A 8% Vitamin C 1% Calcium 0% Iron 3%