What Men Really Mean...

WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN...
WHAT THEY SAY | What They Really Mean |
I'M GOING FISHING | "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety." |
IT'S A GUY THING | "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical." |
CAN I HELP WITH DINNER? | "Why isn't it already on the table?" |
UH HUH, SURE, HONEY, | "Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response." |
IT WOULD TAKE | "I have no idea how it works." |
TAKE A BREAK HONEY, | "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." |
THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR. | "Are you still talking?" |
YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS | "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday." |
OH, DON'T FUSS, | "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt. " |
HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS | "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon." |
I CAN'T FIND IT. | "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless." |
WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME? | "What did you catch me at?" |
I HEARD YOU. | "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me." |
YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER | "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse." |
YOU LOOK TERRIFIC. | "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving" |
I'M NOT LOST. | "No one will ever see us alive again." |
WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK. | "I make the messes, she cleans them up." |
YOU'RE THE BEST WIFE | "Please buy me something nice for Christmas." |
~~ Author Unknown ~~
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