quotations Newsletter


June 1 2009 Quotations Newsletter

It's Knock-Knock Monday #8 ! It's already June can you believe it? That means there's only 178 shopping days until Christmas so you'd better get on it!

In the meantime, here's a few corny jokes and a bit about my fave travel website which I tell you about at the Quotations website:


And if you get a chance check out the community forum all about Quotations located here:


I hope to hear from you sometime soon, either in the forum or in response to this email message. I thrive on your feedback!

Here's a few Knock-Knock jokes to fuel your Monday --

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Raoul who?
Raoul with the punches!


Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Utah who?
Utah-old me to knock!


Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Candace who?
Candace be the last knock knock joke?


You know you love it - but I’ll stop anyway … And now this week’s corny joke:

Top Fifteen Signs That You Drink Too Much Coffee

15. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.

14. You ski uphill.

13. You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

12. You lick your coffeepot clean.

11. You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.

10. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

9. You chew on other people's fingernails.

8. You can type sixty words per minute. With your feet.

7. You can jump-start your car without cables.

6. You walk five on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.

5. You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

4. You help your dog chase his tail.

3. You can thread a sewing machine. While it's running.

2. When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."

1. You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.

I LOVE # 8 !!


And finally, your quotes for the week:


"Remember, if you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns!"

~ Allison Gappa Bottke


"The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving."

~ H.U. Westermayer


"You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice."

~ Steven D. Woodhull


"If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want."

~ Oscar Wilde


"Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want."

~ Margaret Young


"I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder."

~ G.K. Chesterton


"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years."

~ Mark Twain

Have fun passing this message along to family and friends, because we all love to share knowledge and we adore sharing quotes of all flavors!

Paula Grant-LeClaire, Quotations Editor

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