Guest Author - Doreen Farrar

A few months ago, while the sun brightened the sky from 3am to 10pm, and it was too hot to sleep anyway, my teenage son (a professional-grade worrier) began to worry about whether it was safe for both of us to sleep at night.

"But what if someone tries to break in? What if someone climbs the balconies and comes in through an open window?" He obviously wasn't going to sleep anyway, so I let him stay up until the sky began to lighten each morning. He felt safer and, to be honest, so did I. Who knows how many potential muggers his 2am activities frightened away?

My son learned to love his late-night privacy. I've always enjoyed waking to a silent house, so we decided to continue our routine through the winter, when it's dark from 3pm to 10am, and it's usually raining anyway. I know that it's only possible to do this because I'm homeschooling an only child. (Bet you wondered when I'd get to the point!) If there were any other children involved, I could only imagine what kind of privacy and peace we'd find.

We all know that teaching one child is easier than teaching several, but there are other ramifications to having only one child at home. The greatest benefit, I think, is that I can teach to his daily rhythm, versus struggling with a one-size-fits-all routine. If he gets confused, we can stop and focus on his questions, with no interruptions. If he needs a break, we can cancel "school" for that day. The greatest negative, though, is that we must resort to strategies like staggered sleeping hours to get any privacy. There's also the loss of in-house child-minding--if I had several children, perhaps I could ask the most responsible one to keep the others under control whenever I needed to focus my attention on other issues. I might even be able to expect the children to share the chores! Sharing chores doesn't mean much when there are only two people in the house, and one (my son) is disabled, I'm afraid.

Another positive in only-child homeschooling is that we can adapt more easily to new obligations. For example, I just took a phone call from a client of my consulting business who wants me to do some work for him, partly at home and partly at his plant. My son, as always, will accompany me. If I had several children, I would not have been able to bring them all, so I probably would not have been able to accept the contract, since the hours (and pay) are irregular, and child care is only an option when parents can plan their schedules days or weeks in advance. Even emergency room visits (a regular event for us at times) become easier when there are only two people involved.

I guess that the difference, for us, comes down to flexibility, but I sure do wish I could share those chores sometimes!


copyright Doreen Farrar 2003