Dear Debbie,
My husband got custody of our two sons for the major holidays. Since he has the money, they obey him in everything. I’m depressed that I don’t have them on the holidays. In fact, I’m sick over it!(Tina)

Dear Tina,
The law is the law and you have to yield. Anyway, whoever said that the holidays have to be celebrated on the one day that Hallmark Cards or the Media says they do! Celebrate on a different day with all the fixings! It will surprise your children, prolong the festivities and give you a chance to do your own thing. Remember, kids grow up quickly and make their own decisions. They can see into the heart with their instinct. So, while your ex may have won this battle, he did not win the war. Love them and do your thing with integrity and you will reap what you sow.

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Stress Management - Personal Advice Column
One of the best ways to shed stress is to express yourself truly. Don’t suppress nagging questions or worries. Put your energy into a solution. Often two heads are better than one. Write to me and I will act as an objective friend.

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Debbie Mandel, MA is the author of Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul, a stress-reduction specialist, motivational speaker, a personal trainer and mind/body lecturer at Southampton College. She is the host of the weekly Turn On Your Inner Light Show on WLIE 540AM in New York City , produces a weekly wellness newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and print media. To learn more visit: www.turnonyourinnerlight.com