g Text Version
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
News & Politics
Religion & Spirituality
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies

Bored? Games!
Take a Quiz
Rate My Photo

Natural Living
Folklore and Mythology
Distance Learning

All times in EST

Full Schedule
g Etiquette Site

BellaOnline's Etiquette Editor


The Rotten Dinner Host

I am the Rotten Dinner Hostess and this is exactly what you should not do when you invite people to your place.

I have a gathering at my house where lots of people will be showing up. I like to have people over because I like to show off my house and I like to brag. What better opportunity to do both than with a dinner party? I, however, am a Rotten Dinner Host so though we all know you are flattered that I have invited you, by the end of the evening you are going to have had a terrible time and won't want to ever return.

When you arrive I will be sitting on my sofa watching television. I won't get up. I won't greet you and I will have the TV on the entire time you are there. As other guests arrive I will wave from the couch and point to the fridge in my garage where your drinks are. If you show up with a bottle of wine, food or flowers, I won't thank you. I will tell you to set them on the counter and I won't assist in finding an opener or a glass to pour your wine into.

I have a really cool glass that I'm drinking out of. If I'm consuming beer, there will be a fun logo or be made of high end glass. If I'm drinking wine, my glass will be made of crystal and I will talk about it all night long. You and the other guests, however, will be drinking from plastic cups. Red Solo cups fill nicely with all types of liquid. You should be happy with that.

As people arrive and try to speak to me I will ignore them. They are just people after all and I am not concerned with them. I don't care if they like my table cloth, my decor or my taste in anything. I want to talk about myself, not their opinions.

As a Rotten Dinner Host I'm not going to cook anything. But I will insist that everyone help to pull plastic containers out of the refrigerator and find serving spoons to put in them. I will talk about how lame it is to slave over anything all day. I will stop anyone who pulls plates out of my cupboards. I will direct someone to the garage where there is a stack of paper plates and a box of plastic utensils. though I don't feel the need to explain myself, I will attempt to educate my guests on how lame it is to serve anything to a bunch of guests on anything other than paper. I have no intention of cleaning other people's plates.

I won't offer any explanation about dinner. It's a hodge podge of stuff that was on sale in the deli section so I will let everyone know that I didn't put much thought into what I was going to feed everyone I just picked up some stuff. I will also make sure to tell everyone that this is why you always bring stuff to a party because you never know what the host might make you eat. I find this quite funny as I state it and laugh about it.

During dinner I will drink too much and tell my guests about how grateful they should be to be in my home. I will exclaim how lucky they are to be counted as my friends. Next I will talk about how much this dinner cost and tell them they are all unappreciative. Finally I will go sit on my sofa again, curl up and go to sleep. I am, after all, the Rotten Dinner Host, and as is expected, my guests had a terrible time.

If you have any rotten questions you'd like to ask Lisa Plancich be sure to click on the email button at the bottom of this page.
Add The+Rotten+Dinner+Host to Twitter Add The+Rotten+Dinner+Host to Facebook Add The+Rotten+Dinner+Host to MySpace Add The+Rotten+Dinner+Host to Digg The+Rotten+Dinner+Host Add The+Rotten+Dinner+Host to Yahoo My Web Add The+Rotten+Dinner+Host to Google Bookmarks Add The+Rotten+Dinner+Host to Stumbleupon Add The+Rotten+Dinner+Host to Reddit

RSS | Related Articles | Editor's Picks Articles | Top Ten Articles | Previous Features | Site Map

For FREE email updates, subscribe to the Etiquette Newsletter

Past Issues

Printer Friendly
tell friend
Tell a Friend
Email Editor

Content copyright © 2018 by Lisa Plancich. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Lisa Plancich. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Lisa Plancich for details.


g features
Party Plan for High School Grads

The Gracious Graduate

Gifts and Thank You Notes

Archives | Site Map


Past Issues

Note: BellaOnline uses cookies to help provide a consistent user experience. Our advertisers may use cookies to help customize ads. Please contact us with any question about our cookie use.

Summertime Foods
Corn on the Cob
Burgers on the Grill
Apple Pie


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2018 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

BellaOnline Editor