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How to Climb Out of a Relationship Rut


The birds and the bees are pretty active in spring Ė how about you? If you find yourself in a relationship rut, tap into the powerful seasonal energy and spring into action. You donít have to spend a lot of money and fly to Paris for the weekend. Instead you need to passionately search for what is deeply real, rather than a nonexistent fantasy of someone elseís imagination (novel or movie). Think about where you want to be a year from now and what you need to do to get there.

Here are 8 directions on how to get there:
  1. In martial arts (sometimes similar to marital arts) softness overcomes hardness which leads to adaptation. True power does not use force, but instead is actually malleable, adapting to different situations. No matter what stage your relationship, can you be more flexible and flow with the current instead of beating your head against a wall of frustration?
  2. Learn to live in the present and avoid the trap of revisiting past indiscretions, mistakes and hurts. In the present there are no regrets and resentment. When you lose your temper, you lose yourself. People tend to fight when they are insecure. If you are about to lose your patience, give yourself another minute to respond and breathe deeply. Extend the limits of when you are about to snap.
  3. Do you know yourself? If you donít know who you are, what you want and where you want to go, then you are putting too much pressure on your relationship. Taking responsibility for what makes you happy and taking action toward achieving it sends good energy to your partner. Make up your mind to be happier and more content. Expand your horizon and share that with your partner. Bring something new to the table.
  4. Shake up your routine by acting a bit unpredictable and trying to go the opposite route like, changing your style, experimenting with new foods, listening to different music, and getting physical in the bedroom. Use your imagination for fun instead of catastrophe. You are not locked into any old role.
  5. Who doesnít love a compliment? Donít be stingy. Compliments lift others up and create connection. Donít reserve compliments for strangers while your nearest and dearest is starving for them.
  6. Are you a smiler or a scowler Ė which predominates in your relationship? Your partner is likely to feel less comfortable with you if you are not smiling.
  7. Recall the details of past conversations and be curious with follow-up questions. Your focus is what you pay attention to, so focus on your mate and listen attentively.
  8. Decorate your bedroom creating a space you canít wait to get to at night and are reluctant to leave in the morning. For example, create a cabinet of souvenirs of your relationship.

For more information on managing your stress and reclaiming your life read my book, Addicted to Stress: A Woman's 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life. To listen to archived radio shows with guest experts visit Turn On Your Inner Light Radio Show



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Content copyright © 2014 by Debbie Mandel. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Debbie Mandel. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Debbie Mandel for details.

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