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BellaOnline's Stress Management Editor


How To Handle Someone Who Talks Too Much

Some people talk too much, barely pausing for a breath. Ever wonder why? Usually, the talker needs to show that he or she is successful or empowered when most likely the contrary is true. Perhaps the constant talker might be stressed , or lonely. Talkers are rarely good listeners. They like to deliver advice, compel you to their way of thinking and if you don’t take it, then they get angry. Also, keep in mind that when someone is in the middle of a monologue, rarely is the annoyed body language of the listener perceived.

The major differences between talking and silence: Talking is insistent, action oriented, kinetic and outgoing. Silence rests contentedly with the self, at ease, attune to the universe, a recipient of wisdom. Balance is the goal. However, how many of you live in balance, especially when you are stressed? If you are wondering who is more chatty women or men, there is gender equality here. Men tend to speak just as much, usually about different things.

Whether you are the one who is doing all the talking or the suffering listener who is rolling his eyes, there are measures you can assume which will lead to greater silence:
  • Smile while you speak and look into the listener’s eyes. If you are the blabbermouth, smiling at your audience acknowledges their presence and will remind you to give someone else a chance to speak. If the other person is the one doing the talking, then your smile is validating and empowering. It is as though you are saying with your facial cues, “You don’t have to prove yourself to me. I validate you.”
  • Power up with good posture to appear confident, but also receptive to what is being said. The easiest way to achieve this is shoulders back and down. This will ease up the need to perform. By the same token if you assume this power posture, the speaker will let your interrupt.
  • Compliment the talker. This will relax him and remove the need to impress you.
  • For the predictable talkers who might corner you bring an article or magazine that they like to distract them reducing the verbiage with show and tell.
  • Change up the energy and move the conversation to a different location- even to another room or across the hall.
  • The next time you are doling out advice, proverbs, directions for living and psychological tidbits, internalize your own advice and practice what you preach – so you won’t have to preach.
  • Just say no – you have no time. You don’t have to please everyone, so stay on track with what you want to do with your time. You need to decide what is worthy of your attention. Think about how much time you can create for yourself when you block out someone’s trivialities. What could be more precious than making room and time for yourself?

For more information on managing your stress and reclaiming your life read my book, Addicted to Stress: A Woman's 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life. To listen to archived radio shows with guest experts visit Turn On Your Inner Light Radio Show

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Content copyright © 2015 by Debbie Mandel. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Debbie Mandel. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Debbie Mandel for details.


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