Guest Author - Lisa Polovin Pinkus
The introverted mom faces different challenges than do her extroverted friends. Tasks and actions that her children need her to fulfill take more energy and endurance. Her needs differ from those of her non-introverted counterparts.
Listening to a child who talks non-stop consumes her energy. Picking up the phone to call another mom for a play date with a new friend at school is uncomfortable. Family nights at school overwhelm her. A child who needs constant physical contact inhibits her personal space.
For some introverted moms, it’s hard to put themselves out there. For others, they can manage getting “out there”, but it consumes all their energy. They are able to sit in silence and be comfortable. They enjoy time by themselves.
The introverted mom must take extra steps to manage her day, her children, and her need for pensive contemplation.
Introverted moms must make time to recharge and to reflect throughout her day. My recommendation is to do so without coffee, sugar, or television. Schedule a short nap before picking up the children from school. Maintain a quiet time period even after young children have given up their naps. Set aside a time for reading during the day.
An introverted mom must know her limits. Some introverted moms prefer hosting play dates at a park rather than having company in the house. A day filled with meetings is not a good idea for the mom whose energy gets zapped after one meeting. An introverted mom should know her limits and be able to set boundaries that honor those limits.
An introverted mom must choose friends wisely. An introvert can have her energy drained from a mere lunch date with a close friend. Identify other activities to do with friends who are energy consumers. Paying attention to how specific people make her feel will help her develop limits that will allow her to stay energized.
Balance is crucial to an introverted mom’s sanity. If an introverted mom has a busy and engaging morning, it’s important to leave quiet space for the afternoon. Introverted moms need time to refuel. Not only does a mom need to identify the activities that energize her, she must make sure to schedule it on a daily basis.
The introverted mom needs to consider when she is going to ask the “how was your day” question. She must make sure that when she asks it, she is prepared to sit down and listen to the answer. Sometimes, the introverted mom is not able to listen to the play-by-play details of her children’s days, and the wealth of information is overwhelming.
Girls’ night out works for some moms, but not all moms. For the introverted mom, girls’ night out may not be the ideal method for recharging after a long, hard day. While going out with a group of women has its benefits, the introverted mom may need the next morning to replenish.
All moms want their children to succeed and feel comfortable in the world. We want to model effective communication, self-confidence, and a sense of self for our children. Introverted moms work diligently to bring these qualities forward for their children. This is not to say that introverted moms are not confident, well-spoken, and engaging individuals. They are – but, sometimes, they have to work harder at it than others. Walking into a strange situation and approaching a new individual may take a lot of energy. But, we do it for our children. We extend ourselves for the benefit of our children.