Guest Author - Paula Petrie
A child’s anger at a parent or a parent’s anger at a child may not be direct anger at all but a reaction to their own stress level, beliefs, or incorrect assumptions. But anger breeds anger and the situation could get out of control. Instead of trying to be right or control a conversation, try to see the other person’s point of view. Look your child or parent in the eye and listen. When you can't listen take a time-out.
In spite of its bad press, anger is a helpful tool. It’s nature’s way of warding off threat or attack. It helps us bring out feelings, uncover problems, and take charge when necessary. Anger can throw your emotions to the surface providing clarity, and pump adrenalin through your veins, giving you strength to resolve a situation. But like any workshop tool, anger can be dangerous, you must learn to understand and control it.
What is in your heart strongly affects your words. If you want to fix what you say to people, you really have to find the heart of the problem. When you respond with unexpected rudeness or impatience it’s likely your heart is bothered by another matter. Unresolved disagreements keep popping up with increased emotion. It is important to deal with your feelings, negative too, instead of ignoring them. Consider what negative or painful feeling you have buried, instead of working on a solution to let the emotion go.
Perspective is the remedy you need to allow your heart to heal. It truly can be that easy. For example, if the thought of tackling a dull or tedious chore zaps your energy, managing the task from another approach, such as getting some needed exercise and fresh air, can make the job less painful, even enjoyable. You can find your healthy/heart healing point of view in thoughts, or words from surprising sources. The key to this truly wonderful treasure (a healthy perspective), is to seek it.
Search if you will, the only antidote for dislike is acceptance, for contempt is respect. Basic respect for human existence, another‘s right to live and grow and learn at his or her own pace, builds a bridge of peace and trust to carry you over the tension and suspicion. Would you like a ticket for the freedom to move forward? It’s free for the taking.
To make a good effort, frustration, fight and struggle are sometimes necessary. We just have to identify the cause and it is usually not another person. It’s finding your way to understanding, and bound to have more to do with the mysterious and intriguing places that lie between your heart and your own mind.
Listen. Speak with quiet respect. Work on understanding others, and your own heart. Talk to share and you will feel the rich tapestry of grace envelope you. That’s connected.
