In a recent issue of Time Magazine (October 9, 2006 Vol. 168 No. 15), Po Bronson--author of Why Do I love These People? Understanding and Creating Your Own Family Life
and other texts--comments on what he perceives as the media's push to focus attention on the drama of affluent families while neglecting the plight of "real families."In his essay, Barbie to Bay Einstein: Get Over It, Mr. Bronson criticizes authors such as Alexandra Robbins (The Overachievers: The Secret Lives of Driven Kids) and Alyssa Quart (Hothouse Kids: The Dilemma of the Gifted Child
) who have written about the growing problem of teen hyperachievement/overachievement. She is also highly critical of authors like Judith Warner (Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Perfection). From his point of view, hyperachievement/overachievement and the drive for perfection are merely figments of the media's imagination and have no basis in fact among students who live in America's "real families." Parents in "real families" are doing less to help their students at home and in school and students are having to do more.Is he right? Let's discuss the issues. Mr. Bronson argues that:
- Students aren't pushed to succeed in school. This is an implicit argument in the essay as he's heavily critical of the whole concept of hyperachievement/overachievement. But Mr. Bronson never directly addresses this issue. Homework "experts," like Harris Cooper, recommend students should spend about 10 minutes per day, per grade on homework. But Etta Kralovec and John Buell (authors of The End of Homework: How Homework Disrupts Families, Overburdens Children, and Limits Learning
Students and parents know that GPA, test scores, and completion of college prep type courses in high school is becoming increasingly important. Many state governments and the federal government are shifting requirements for financial aid away from basic financial need to a combination of merit and financial need. In fact, the Education Trust notes that funding for merit-based programs has increased dramatically (300 percent over 30 years), while funding for strictly need-based aid has not. Without the right GPA, test scores, or the right course load/diploma, many students will be left out of these new programs. Achievement is a major issue for college-bound teens!
- Students don't have to compete heavily to get into college. Mr. Bronson makes a point that 44 percent of the nation's 3,500 colleges accept all of the students who apply. Basic math tells you that 100 - 44 = 56 percent (or 1,960 colleges) that don't accept every applicant; and 150 of these colleges turn down more than half of the students that apply for admissions every year.
In order for students to successfully compete for spots in the majority of U.S. colleges, they'll have to demonstrate not only that they are a good fit and have decent admissions test scores, they'll have to show that they are worthy of a spot in the incoming freshmen class. This generally means demonstrating a high-school record (both academic and extracurricular) that not only meets but exceeds the expectations of the admissions office. They'll need to stand out from the crowd!
- Students are not coddled. Mr. Bronson states that 1/3 of students work in part-time jobs (part-time work is generally 1 to 20 hours per week). While the 1/3 that are working are learning the importance of work, are pulling their weight and are contributing to either their own expenses or future college expenses (hopefully), the remaining 2/3 aren't. Though he does state that 1/3 of students volunteer an average of an hour a week, this activity likely isn't comparable to working part-time. Thus, for the majority of students, mom, dad or the guardian is footing the bill for the basics of living as well as designer jeans, shoes, iPods, CDs, movies, etc.
Mr. Bronson also argues that students report feeling their parents are doing less to help them out at home and school. But, in this same article, he states that parents are doing everything they can for their children. Confusing, isn't it? It's likely the case that who you interview determines the outcome of parent involvment. Those that have asked parents about their involvement with their children, like the Directory of Marriage and Family Counseling, cite that parents are more involved with and are overindulging their teens now more than ever. Current studies indicate about 1/3 of parents freely admit they've failed to successfully impart the values of self-discipline and self-control to their children. Parents, they say, lack the ability to say "no" to their children, and as a result, the have children who have difficulties functioning responsibly on their own.
- The "Hovering Parent" is a myth.. Mr. Bronson argues that the media is overly obsessed with the few instances where affluential parents "overprotect their child." Unfortunately, this isn't a myth. It’s a very real phenomenon among millennial parents; and its also not an issue with just a few affluential parents. The problem of the "Hovering Parent" (also called the "Helicopter Parent") has become so large that administrators at campuses across the country are holding seminars to train faculty and staff how to put parents in their place outside class.
Parents from low-income households and parents of first-generation students are just as likely to hover as those from affluent households; but they hover for different reasons. These parents tend to have less of an understanding of how the college process works and want to there to assist their child through the confusion. Campuses like UC Santa Barbara hold workshops specifically for these families--not just the students. They do this in order to help the families gain a better understanding of how college works, who the players are, and the rules/regulations in place at the college (especially those protecting the student's right to privacy).
Admittedly, Mr. Bronson does a terrific job in sharing his opinions with the reader. But, his arguments don't carry a great deal of weight. Maybe he'll address this issue again in the future. If he does, here's hoping he'll go a few steps further and provide some hard evidence to support his arguments--possibly evidence gained from the 700 families he interviewed over the last three years.
Until next time!
Lynn Byrne
Preparing for college admissions? Trying to find direction? Need a little help with the planning? Check out my college planning series:
- College Planning Made Easy--the planning and preparation workbook for the take charge, college-bound student,
- Paying for College Made Easy--a college financing guide designed to assist students and families in preparing and planning for higher education expenses; and
- The Great Scholarship Search--my guide for students and parents researching and applying for scholarship funding.
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