logo
g Text Version
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Career
Computers
Education
Family
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
Money
News & Politics
Relationships
Religion & Spirituality
Sports
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies

dailyclick
Bored? Games!
Nutrition
Postcards
Take a Quiz
Rate My Photo

new
European Travel
Action Movies
Bible Basics
Houseplants
Romance Movies
Creativity
Family Travel


dailyclick
All times in EST

Full Schedule
g
g Stepparenting Site

BellaOnline's Stepparenting Editor

g

Stepfathers and The Family

Guest Author - Terrie Andrade

I heard a song on country radio a few weeks back that really touched the heart that I have for stepfamilies. I was surprised to find out when I “Goggled” it, that it’s been around for several years, because I do not recall having heard it before. Good country songs have a way of capturing an important life event, the accompanying feelings and the outcome…in less than four and a half minutes. But similar to a movie or a book that leaves you wanting more, my inquiring mind often has questions beyond the tale…and this was no exception.

The song starts out with a grown man remembering his single mom going out on dates that never grew into relationships once she revealed she had a little boy. He was five years old when his now stepdad took his mom to a movie and he got to go along. The night the man proposed to his mom the boy lay in bed praying that she would say yes! The chorus of the song is a tribute to the man for changing them from “something’s missing” to a “family”.

I am an admitted romantic, an optimist and a lover of happy endings, and as such I am always curious about the dynamics that lead to fairytale conclusions. In this case, I can’t help but wonder if the birth father was in the picture or if conflicts over homework, curfew or driving ever caused a problem. Was the new dad really perfect or did the storyteller have the maturity to not expect him to be?

The next verse fast forwards to this boy’s adulthood. He’s married and standing with his stepdad at the nursery window admiring his newborn baby. His thoughts turn, again, to the gratitude and respect he has for the older man for giving him the original gift of family. He declares his aspiration to be but half as much of a father to his own child.

Brad Paisley is the talented artist who made this recording. I don’t know if it was written from experience or imagination. That’s another one of the questions it provokes! Either way, it describes what I believe is the goal of most men who assume the fatherly role in a blended family.

You may be one of the fortunate stepdads like the singer describes who has been accepted and maybe even appreciated by your stepchild. If it was immediate and without trials, you are truly blessed. If you experienced problems and growing pains but still worked toward being a family, you are to be congratulated for not losing sight of the goal. If your path is still one of trouble and rejection, I encourage you to not give up or claim defeat.

The real message of the song is the acknowledgment that the man did not have to be anything to the boy. He was, after all, just a stepfather. Stepparents have more options and fewer obligations than birth mothers and fathers. They can choose whether to foster close or distant relationships and they can be as involved or removed as they want to be. Integrity and leadership as well as the willingness to love, even when it is not returned, are all traits of an admirable dad. Not because he has to…but because he doesn’t have to… yet does, anyway.
This site needs an editor - click to learn more!

Add Stepfathers+and+The+Family to Twitter Add Stepfathers+and+The+Family to Facebook Add Stepfathers+and+The+Family to MySpace Add Stepfathers+and+The+Family to Del.icio.us Digg Stepfathers+and+The+Family Add Stepfathers+and+The+Family to Yahoo My Web Add Stepfathers+and+The+Family to Google Bookmarks Add Stepfathers+and+The+Family to Stumbleupon Add Stepfathers+and+The+Family to Reddit




RSS | Related Articles | Editor's Picks Articles | Top Ten Articles | Previous Features | Site Map


For FREE email updates, subscribe to the Stepparenting Newsletter


Past Issues


print
Printer Friendly
bookmark
Bookmark
tell friend
Tell a Friend
forum
Forum
email
Email Editor


Content copyright © 2014 by Terrie Andrade. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Terrie Andrade. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact BellaOnline Administration for details.

g


g features
New Year's Resolution?

A Personal Peace

Healthy Shopping Attitudes

Archives | Site Map

forum
Forum
email
Contact

Past Issues
memberscenter


vote
Poetry
Daily
Weekly
Monthly
Less than Monthly



BellaOnline on Facebook
g


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2014 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


BellaOnline Editor