2012 (2009)

2012 (2009)
On a Richter scale of 1-10, 2012 registers an 11 in disaster movies. Yellowstone Park erupts in a spectacular mushroom cloud and lethal fireballs, California slides into the sea like the Titanic, roads buckle, freeways collapse and humungous tsunamis overwhelm the Himalayas. Gosh.

Through it all, John Cusack and Zlatko Burik prove fatherhood ain’t easy as they battle falling buildings, buckling runways and slow driving old ladies to get their kids to safety. Cusack is failed novelist Jackson Curtis, now separated from his wife and kids and chauffeuring for Yuri Karpov (Burik). While on a camping trip with his less than grateful kids in Yellowstone, he runs into harried scientist Dr Adrian Helmsley, and discovers the end of the world is nigh, courtesy of a crazy indie broadcaster (Woody Harrelson in fine demented form).

Before he can say Holy Moly! the world starts falling apart. Director Roland Emmerich sure can orchestrate a disaster movie. Cusack bundles his family - including his wife’s new hubby - into Burik’s limo and heads out of town. He is, of course, the only driver on the road who can cope with falling freeways, toppling buildings and the afore mentioned old ladies (who get their come uppance by driving into a pile of tarmac) and get everyone to the relative safety of a plane parked near Yellowstone.

Will the end of the world really be like this? Only if Emmerich is directing it, probably, since he doesn’t give a flying freeway for the rest of humanity as long as his heroes find sanctuary in the Himalayas, where plans have been afoot to save a goodly sample of humanity from doom, including those very necessary billionaires and EuroRoyals who financed the plan. The sight of the Queen of England and her corgis and husband scuttling to safety is a bit insulting, frankly. I’m sure she’s be more inclined to insist that her kids and grandkids go instead (although she might stuff a corgi or two in one of their bags).

The only glimmer of hope for the future of said humanity is that a Buddhist priest manages to escape doomsday as well. At least he doesn’t have to be pep talked into saving a few hundred more lives like the assembled dignitaries on board. Oh yes, Helmsley gets his pep talk moment, and the US President goes down with the ship - or to put it more accurately, under the ship.

I paid for this DVD with my own funds.

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