Guest Author - Lisa Polovin Pinkus
When children are in the picture, our essential adult relationships often take a back seat. But, just as moms are reminded that their self-care is of utmost importance, they must also be reminded that their relationships deserve time and attention. Small actions to ensure that your spouse or partner has a front row seat in your busy life will have a positive impact on your children as well.
You may feel too tired, too busy, or too overwhelmed to care about anything but putting your head on the pillow at night. Quality time with your spouse may be looked at as a luxury. Constant care and deliberate efforts toward your relationship with your spouse or partner will pay off in the long run.
It is easy to get caught up in the swirl of life, and our busy schedules often get in the way of the little things. Those little things, however, are what enhance the quality of our relationships, draw us closer to each other, and allow us to live a life of fulfillment. It is the little things that create an atmosphere of love, honor, and respect.
Consider some of these suggestions that are simple to carry out, do not take much time, but will touch your spouse nonetheless.
Compliments No one ever tires of hearing compliments. It is easy to forget to offer compliments to your spouse when you are in the midst of a busy week or a chaotic time. Find one thing every day to compliment your partner on.
Nagging Many of us have discovered that the more we ‘nag’ (we might call it asking), the less likely it is to get done. Instead of asking your spouse to pick his clothes up off the floor, do it for him. It takes thirty seconds and can erase the tension between you if you just go ahead and do it.
Tackle the task We fall into our specific roles, and our expectations adjust accordingly. Does your husband take out the trash? Do you do the ironing? Take on one of your partner’s tasks. Go ahead and change the light bulb, the air filter, or the ink in the printer. Don’t wait for your partner to get to it.
Plan something Get a sitter and plan a special night so the two of you can have some quality time together. Pick something that you know your partner will enjoy.
Bite your tongue When we can step back from arguments or disagreements, we can see their futility. Don’t get entangled in arguments. Speak lovingly. Be understanding. Reflect the view of your partner even if it differs from your own. Step away and wait until you can have a calm conversation before engaging.
Carve out time Little moments of time together will keep you close and connected. Morning tea, thirty minutes before bed, or every Saturday night – create a habit of time together.
Small, intentional actions will strengthen the relationship with your partner. A dose of admiration, restraint from reminding him to put the toilet seat down, and speaking with kindness can have a transformational impact on your marriage.