Last week, my family and I loaded up a big moving truck, packed our van with suitcases, snacks, and maps, and headed from Boise, Idaho to Bath, New York. It was the second time we'd made the trip; in between we'd moved back – 6 months in Reno and then back to Boise. We hadn't really planned to return to the West after our first move to New York, but my mom was diagnosed with Leukemia, and the annual trips home weren't enough. We thought grad school in Reno would be close enough, but when I started flying from Reno to Boise every week to help care for her, we realized we were meant to be back in Boise.

Boise had been home for a long time. Two of my stepchildren and one of my birth children had been born there (the middle three – the oldest had been born in Germany while his parents were stationed there with the Air Force; our youngest was born in New York). I had graduated from high school in Boise and had been raised there for most of my life.

Being there to care for my mom was necessary and we were grateful to have a short amount of time with her before she passed away. Returning to New York didn't seem to be in the cards – I was working in the corporate world, my husband was finishing his undergrad program, and the twins were in high school and did NOT want to move again. My stepdaughter even thought, since her biological mother had moved back to the area as well, that there might be a chance she could further her relationship with her mom.

When we left last week, there was no looking back. No regrets. I miss my mom, but staying in Boise to visit her niche at the crematorium wasn't appealing. Unfortunately, there was no looking back for my stepdaughter, Kira, either. Where she once felt guilty leaving her biological mom behind, she now only feels sadness at what could have been. She once blamed herself for everything that didn't work with her biological mother; she now feels pity for a woman who was incapable of being a mom to her own children.

Kira is embarking on her own adventure. She will be staying with us for the summer and then heading to Long Island for college. She had hopes of having built a relationship with her mom before she left, but all of her efforts were rebuffed. She goes forward, knowing she has the support of her dad and me, but just as I carry a pain in my heart over the loss of my mom, Kira is grieving the reality of the loss of hers as well.